A Carlos Story
by Vampire-MusicLover09
Summary: After an incident involving shopping, Raven aka Robin is getting a fresh start as well as a chance to become famous in a new state. What better place to start than LA? When she gets to the Palm Woods, she's not much of a people person. What happened in her past? Will she ever be the same? *all poems used are my own unless noted* WARNING: language & suggestive themes
1. Robin, Not Raven

Hello. This is a new story that I started. I hope you like it. Let me know how I can improve my writing skills.

_Italics = Raven's thoughts_

**Unfortunately don't own Big Time Rush. **

Enjoy!

Robin King (Raven Stevens) walked into the Palm Woods hotel holding her baby sister's hand as she walked up to the manager's desk. A short man in a black suit was at the desk eating chips. "Reservation for Robin King?" she said, looking him in the eye. He tossed her some keys and told her, "You're in apartment 3J. Watch out for the hockey heads and have a Palm Woods day." She gave him a fake smile and proceeded to the elevator with her sister and their luggage, pressing the button for the third floor. Four boys piled in just before the doors closed and she protectively picked up her sister, smiling as her head rested tiredly on her chest. The short Latino wearing a helmet spoke up first.

"Hi, my name's Carlos Garcia. What's yours?" he smiled, holding out a hand.

Trying not to be rude, she offered a fake smile and shook his outstretched hand. Honestly, she just wanted to run and set up her apartment and stay there forever. "Robin…" she muttered just loud enough for him to hear. Her sister stirred a little, making her look down and place a hand on her back. _I wish this elevator would hurry up. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now. I don't even like strangers!_ _Maybe they won't talk to me anymore if I look spaced out._

"Hey, I'm James…James Diamond." Said the tallest brunette, giving her a flirty smile. _I spoke too soon._

"Are you new here?" asked the blonde. "By the way, my name is Kendall" he smiled.

_Why won't this elevator go faster? It's hot and Mary is overheating. I don't do well in tight spaces! _ "Yes." She managed as the doors opened on her floor. She grabbed her luggage and rushed out of the elevator, thankful she could breathe in a wide space. She quickly found the apartment and got them settled in. it was nice with two rooms, a small kitchen, a living room, a bathroom next to the second room and a bathroom in the master bedroom. She could tell Mary was tired from the ride, so she took off her shoes before setting her on the cream-colored couch in the living room. She dialed her mum's number from her iPhone.

"Hi, mum! We made it here safely."

"Really? Did you meet any nice people?"

"I don't want to meet people, mum. I just want to take classes online and never show my face to society again. I want to change and forget about everything that happened because it's painful. "

"Raven, I know this is hard, but-"

"It's Robin, mum. I don't want to be Raven anymore. Raven is weak, passive, and dumb. She's broken… I'll never be the same."

"I know you want to change, and it's probably for the best, but don't forget to keep in touch, Robin. You have an interview with Gustavo, so at least be nice to him and Kelly."

"I'll play nice, mum. Are you sure they have a daycare here?"

"Yes. Just ask Kelly when you go in tomorrow and she'll tell you all you need. I know you'll be an amazing dancer and singer. If you ever need anything, you can either call me or I can send Annalei, your cousin, over to help out."

"I could use a girl to talk to, I guess…mum, why didn't you want to keep Mary with you?"

"I know she needs you…you both need each other. You're more of a mother than I ever was. By the age of two, you were already taking care of yourself. You could get dressed and ready for the day, and you knew how to get food when you needed it." She laughed. "I'm glad I got you out here. I know it's a lot farther than walking distance from our house. Hell, it's in a whole other state, far from New Jersey, but I know it'll be good for you. You can enhance your talent and get noticed. Mary can even do commercials and learn a few things from you."

"I hope you're doing okay, mum. You can call me anytime you need to talk or something."

"I'll be sure to send Annalei your address so she'll be there in a few weeks. I know I can call you, but I depend on you too much, Robin. I don't want to stress you out more or slow down your process of healing. Be sure to tell your therapist I said hi when you see her again."

"I will, mum. I can't believe it…my own mother shipped me off to another state with my sister. Don't you love us anymore?" she joked.

"Oh, hush up! At least your therapist won't have to make trips from LA to New Jersey anymore. Mary can spend more time with her real mom this way. You grew up so fast, Robin. I couldn't believe it when you knew what she needed when I didn't. She only wanted her stuffed animal while I tried everything else." She chuckled.

"Mum, I'm not her real mom. Biologically she's not mine; she's yours. You just weren't ready for a second child, despite the fact you wanted one. Listen, I'll call you later mum." She laughed before hanging up. After finishing getting unpacked, she decided to plan out what they were going to eat for the month. She made sure she could use the money in her banking account and transferred some money onto her prepaid card so she could go shopping tomorrow after her interview. She put her hair into a ponytail and changed into some boxer shorts and a black tank. When she was chillin' out, listening to the radio and keeping an eye on her sister, there was a knock on her door. She opened it to see a brunette girl with wavy hair in a summer dress.

"Hi, I'm Camille Roberts. I live a few apartments to the left. I just wanted to welcome you to the Palm Woods." She smiled.

"Hello, Camille. Thanks for welcoming me here." She smiled back, trying not to be awkward

"What's your name?"

"Oh, sorry…my name is Robin King."

Just then, Mary appeared with a scared look as she clung to Robin's leg. Robin picked her up and kissed her forehead.

"That's a cute kid. Is she yours?"

"Thanks…you could say so."

"What's her name?"

"Mary…" she said, looking at her blue-eyed sister

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"It's nice meeting you Camille, but as you can see, I have to feed my sister."

"Oh, it's fine. Does your mom live here too?"

"Nope. It's just us two."

"I see…if you need anything at all, come over to apartment 3C."

She waved goodbye and decided to order a medium pizza for them to share. That night, they both slept in the master bedroom, drifting to a dreamless sleep as the radio played softly in the background…

_What do you think? Was it okay? Please review…_


	2. Acquantance

Hello, my lovelies. To those who reviewed, thank you. I love to get feedback. Encourage others to review my story. Here goes the next chapter.

_Italics = Raven's thoughts_

**I don't own Big Time Rush**

Robin woke up the next morning early and proceeded to shower. She wanted to make a good impression, so she washed her hair and skin well. After wrapping in a towel, she helped Mary get ready. Robin slid into a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a neon green v-neck with a smiley face in the front and a sad face on the back, and a dark blue beanie. She kept her hair in natural red-brown curls, slid on ankle socks and Converse, and put on her favorite wristbands and bracelets. She helped Mary into a pair of jean overalls, a light blue t-shirt, and socks with grey tennis shoes. She combed her hair into a ponytail; they ate cereal, grabbed her bag and purse, and then headed to the lobby where the limo was waiting. They got in, Mary sitting on Robin's lap. When they arrived, Kelly greeted them. She led them to Gustavo's office and he smiled.

"Hello, Robin. I didn't know you had a kid."

"She's actually my little sister, but I live in the Palm Woods now. She is living with me because my mum can't take care of her." Robin answered

"They have a daycare center, you know." Kelly informed her

"Really?"

"Yeah, they do. It's there for basically people who have kids that need someone to look after their children while they work. Since most residents are teens, most don't know about it. Out of curiosity, do you have any special skills?" Gustavo asked

"I can play guitar, drums, sing, dance, and act."

"That's good to know. Are you and your sister enrolled in school?"

"I am, but I'm still working on my sister. The manager said something about her needing to have a special talent or something in order to stay here." She explained

"I'll make sure to speak with him." Kelly smiled

"Today, I want you to sing a song for me. If you can blow my mind with your voice, you're in and Kelly can give you a tour. Let's head over to the studio now."

She went into the studio, breathing slowly to calm her nerves, and sang:

**And I remember everything, everything I loved**

**I gave it away like it wasn't enough**

**All the words I said and all you forgive**

**How could I hurt you again?**

**What if I let you win? What if I make it right?**

**What if I give it up? What if I want to try?**

**What if you take a chance? What if I learn to love?**

**What if, what if we start again?**

****

All this time I can make it right

**With one more try, can we start again?**

**In my eyes, you can see it now**

**Can we start again? Can we start again?**

****

Emptiness inside me, wonder if you see

**It's my mistake and it's hurting me**

**I know where we've been, how'd we get so far?**

**What if, what if we start again?**

****

All this time I can make it right

**With one more try, can we start again?**

**In my eyes, you can see it now**

**Can we start again? Can we start again?**

****

I'm lost inside the pain that I feel without you

**I can't stop holding on, I need you with me**

**I'm caught inside the pain**

**Can we ever start again? I'm lost without you**

****

One more try, can we start again?

**In my eyes, can you forgive me now?**

**Can we start again? Can we start again?**

**One more try, can we start again?**

**Can we start again? Can you forgive me now?**

**Can we start again?**

Gustavo and Kelly had shocked looks on their faces as she walked out. Kelly told her she made it and Mary ran up and hugged Robin's legs. She smiled, peering down at her sister. Kelly gave her a tour of Rocque Records and they exchanged numbers. When Robin left and reached her apartment, she made them a quick lunch of sandwiches, chips, and water. They went to her car and got the shopping done. She asked Mr. Bitters about the daycare and he signed her up. She ran into Kendall on her way to the elevator, grocery bags in hand.

"Do you want some help with that?" he offered

"No thanks." She replied hurriedly

He gave her a strange look as she rushed into the elevator. After she put the groceries away, she set up the other room for Mary, putting all her toys in it and hanging up her clothes. She chilled out for a while before starting dinner. She was glad that she accomplished something and hoped that she could get over her irrational fears. The next morning she woke up and got ready for the day, slipping into a pair of ripped jeans and a neon blue tank, putting her hair into a bun at the top of her head with her bangs in her face. She waited for Mary to wake up before making pancakes, turkey bacon, and sliced fruit. After getting Mary dressed, they hung out in the apartment until there was a knock on her door. She opened it to see Carlos standing there with a grin on his face, all emotion draining from hers as she looked to the ground.

"Hi. You're Robin, right?"

"Yeah." She replied softly, nodding her head

"Do you mind if I come in?"

She pondered the thought, remembering she was supposed to be nice, before quietly stepping aside to let him in. Her mother said to be nice, so she decided to be nice, at least once. She let him sit on the couch and she sat on the blue beanbag across from him.

"How are you doing today?" he asked with a bright smile

"I'm doing okay, I guess." She shrugged nervously

There was a moment of awkward silence and Carlos stared at her, studying her for a while. There was something in her eyes that he couldn't decipher. She seemed a bit jittery, looking around the apartment, avoiding his gaze, playing with the rips in her jeans… Realizing he may have been staring for a bit too long when Mary crawled onto Robin's lap and he cleared his throat.

"I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight." he managed to get out before he lost his nerve

"I'm not sure. It depends. Why?"

"Tonight, there's a get together for all the students before school starts again on Monday."

"I don't know…" she frowned, looking down at Mary

"She's adorable. Is she yours?"

"…Yeah, in a way." She said with a faraway look

"It would be nice if you came. All the residents here are eager to meet you. Besides, you look like you could use some fun."

"I'm still not sure…" she replied stroking Mary's back

"If you want, I know of someone that could watch her for you." He offered

"I don't like the idea of leaving her with strangers. If something happens, I couldn't forgive myself."

"It was just a thought. She's very trustworthy and great with kids." He smiled

"Is she?"

"She's been a second mother to me since I could put on skates."

Robin paused in thought, knowing she should go to make friends, but her heart wanted to take care of her baby sister. She didn't know what to do.

"Since she's going to be attending the school as well, is it okay if she comes?"

"I thought she was a toddler."

"She'll be going into the second grade."

"Oh! Then she can come. They have a special area for her. You'd be surprised how many kids we get here that are child prodigies. According to Bitters, Kanye West lived here as a little kid. They even have a daycare program for children so parents can still go to work. All you need is verification that you live here, an id, and your work schedule if you can get one. If you don't have a work schedule, all you need is your boss' number."

"Do you wanna go meet other people, Mary?"

Mary nodded and smiled at Robin.

"I guess we'll be there."

"Great! It's by the pool at 7pm. I hope to run into you there." He smiled, standing up

Robin walked him to the door where they said their goodbyes.

"It looks like we've made an acquaintance." She smiled at her sister

In all honesty [Raven] wanted to be a hermit, but she knew Mary needed to make friends and socialize. Her cousin would be coming to stay with her in a few weeks and maybe she could get her mind off what happened just months ago. _No, no, no! Stop that! It's all gonna be okay. I'll just…toughen up, not let anyone knock me down, make sure no one messes with me._ She took a deep breath as well as the pills her doctor prescribed, then closed her eyes as she lie on the couch and played some Enya to relax for a bit…

**I know it was a boring chapter, but I promise it will get better. By the way, the song is "Start Again" by Red. I'm open to suggestions and I need critiquing. I'll try to update once a week. REVIEW! XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


	3. Goodbye Raven Clearwater

Hey beautiful peoples! No one reviewed the second chapter, but it's okay. Keep giving me feedback because other than music, that's my drug. I promised a little more in this chapter and you're gonna get it. I hope the last chapter wasn't too bad, but please enjoy this chapter. Here we go! PS reviews help me update faster.

_Italics = Raven's thoughts_

**I don't own Big Time Rush. =( **

Robin woke up to her alarm, meaning it was 6:55pm. _Eh, it's a party. They won't know or care if I'm late. No one knows who I am._ She woke up Mary and proceeded in getting them ready. She dressed Mary in a dark blue skort, a white shirt with a silver flower, sandals, and fixed her hair so it was half up and half down. She washed her own face and dressed in acid-washed skinny jeans, a gray off-the-shoulder top, Vans, and put her hair into a low side fishtail. Mary complained about being hungry, so Robin gave her a granola bar and made sure she had her phone in case her mom called. _Just breathe, don't make direct eye contact, and if someone messes with you, walk away. Everything will be fine. Just smile, wave, and nothing will go wrong. If plans fail, just grab Mary and run._ Someone ringing her doorbell had interrupted her pep talk. _If there's a party, then why is someone ringing my doorbell?_

"Mary, are you ready to go?"

"Yes mommy." She smiled wide

Robin smiled as she saw the few pieces of granola stuck to her sister's face. She wiped her face clean and when she opened the door, there was a gift basket. She was hesitant and decided to leave it there as she headed to the lobby, which lead to the pool. She took Mary to one of the cabanas that was clearly for little kids. There were a few other kids there (about six or seven) and a woman with red hair was supervising them. For some odd reason, Robin trusted her and hugged Mary goodbye before leaving. She stuck herself by the snack table and ate some fruit, standing awkwardly in the corner. Little did she know, someone was watching her with predatory eyes. Neither Carlos nor Camille were anywhere in sight. She wasn't a party person and she never will be. Despite the sound of All Time Low pounding through the speakers and all the bodies dancing around the pool, she didn't feel inclined to get into the music with all these strangers around. She decided to bite her lip and stare into the clear pool water as her mind drifted off to an imaginary place. She was so lost in her own world that it startled her when a voice sounded next to her.

"You like admiring the water too?" asked a guy with a guitar who sounded (and looked) stoned

Robin simply smiled and nodded her head.

"I'm Guitar Dude, so you must be Robin, the new chic with a kid."

She nodded, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"It's nice to meet you. If you ever want someone to play music for you, just come find me." He smiled

"Okay." She mumbled

"You don't talk much, do you?" he asked out of curiosity

"Not really."

"It's okay. You don't really know anyone here. Just don't be shy because most of the people here are pretty nice. If you need someone to talk to or just hang with, you can usually find me by the pool." He smiled

He strummed a note on his guitar before walking away. She gave a half smile and started wondering what her sister was up to. Deciding it was best to leave her sister to make friends, she shoved her hands in her pockets and walked around slowly, avoiding dancers and people searching for others. Suddenly Camille and Logan came up to her, freaking her out with their sudden appearance.

"Hey Robin!" Camille exclaimed

Robin just smiled.

"I'm glad you could make it, Robin. We were getting worried." Logan smiled

"Uh, thanks?" Robin replied

Carlos, James, Kendall, and some blonde girl walked up to where they were and Robin felt intimidated and anxious. She felt uneasy as the blonde girl sent her a dirty look when Kendall said hi. Robin shoved her hands deeper into her pockets and dug her toe into the ground, sinking into the awkward silence. No one missed the half smile that came to her face as "Paradise" by Coldplay came on.

"I take it you're a Coldplay fan as well?" Kendall asked

She simply nodded and smiled wider.

"They'll be playing a more upbeat song soon. You should get out there and dance." James suggested

Robin shook her head furiously, eyes going wide. _Are they crazy? I can't dance to save my life! Also, I can't really breathe right now with them all crowded around me._

"Come on, you can't be that bad!" Logan encouraged

"Robin, I'm sure you're not horrible." Camille added

Her eyes widened impossibly as she stared at them as if to say, "Are you on something?"

"You don't dance much do you?" Carlos asked

She shook her head sadly.

"Apparently she doesn't talk at all, either." The blonde girl sneered in a low voice

"Jo, please be nice! She's new and hasn't even done anything to you!" Kendall exclaimed

_*laughs evilly in head* At least not yet!_

"Well how can I be nice to her when she hasn't even been nice to me?" Jo encountered

"Jo, she's just shy, okay? Cut her some slack!"

"How can I 'cut her some slack' when she hasn't bothered to utter even two words to me?"

"Jo, just—"

The couple continued arguing and Camille pulled her to the side while James went off to find a pretty girl. Robin was just thankful they were no longer surrounding her and she could breathe.

"Robin, if you'd like…Carlos, Logan, and I can show you how to dance." She offered

Robin smiled politely smiled and shook her head as her phone rang. Thankfully, it was her mom, so she found a quiet corner, unaware of three pairs of hungry eyes now following her around.

"Hey, mum. How are you?"

"I'm fine dear. I'm just checking in. what are you doing?"

"I'm at the Palm Woods pool party, but I think I'll be heading up soon."

"Why? It's only about 8:15pm."

"I know, mum…but I'm feeling a bit tired." She lied

"Okay, honey. Just make sure you take good care of Mary. I know you will, but you know, uh…how is settling in? Did you make any new friends?"

"I guess I did. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine. I'm back with Johnathan…"

"Mum, I swear to God if he—"

"Robin, it'll be different this time."

"That's only because I'm not there to be his punching bag."

"Robin, it'll be okay. I've taken self-defense classes and if he lays a hand on me, he's going to jail."

"That's not enough! Apparently in self-defense they don't teach you how to defend yourself against a group of men that are out to get you!" she said, tearing up

"Listen, I'm sorry—"

"No, I'm fine. That's not me anymore. I can be tougher than this. I know I can get through this on my own. I'll be fine mum…I promise."

"Do you need a refill on your meds?"

"No. I'm fine. I just…it triggered a memory."

"I shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry this happened to you."

"No, stop. Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for Raven. I'm going to change and be strong for Mary. She needs me and I cannot just break down like this every time a memory is triggered. "

"Don't do this for Mary. My choices ruined you, Robin. Because of me, you have always done whatever you're doing for others. It's time you do something for yourself."

"Mum, I have music…"

"Robin, music is a way for you to escape. Find a career that focuses only on you or at least one where you can put your all into it. You're overstressed and too selfless." Her mom sighed, "Go get some rest, find a boyfriend, relax, and do something for your own pleasure for once. If you live the way you're living for much longer, you'll kill yourself."

"Wow, thanks for making me feel better, mum." She said sarcastically

"Goodnight, Robin."

"Goodnight mum." She smiled

Robin decided to stay a little longer until it was Mary's bedtime. She found herself singing along to the music and eating an occasional piece of fruit. Around 9pm, Robin got her sister from the cabana and started for her apartment. She was in the lobby with Mary asleep and clinging to her when three boys got in her way. She tried pushing past them, but it wasn't so easy.

"Hey, pretty lady. Where are you going all alone?" said a tall guy who had slightly spiked blonde hair and somewhat reminded her of Brad Pitt

She didn't respond, but tried to get through once more, only to be stopped by the boy that looked like he was trying too hard to look like a gangster-rap-bad boy.

"Excuse me, but you never answered Jett's question, miss."

_No, not again. I can't let Mary go through this a second time._ She looked down, then towards the elevator, holding her sister tighter. _This time, I'm ready._

"Oh, you wanna leave? That's not gonna happen 'cause I, Dak Zevon, won't let you get past me."

"Listen here, Sweet Cheeks, we can make this as painless as possible for you and your kid won't have to know anything about any of this. We just wanna have a little…_fun_ is all. Is that so much to ask?" Wayne-Wayne said, placing a hand on her hip

She shrunk back from his touch and they backed her into a corner. _Seriously, the party is right outside. Can't anyone see what's going on? Do they even care? It doesn't matter. I'm on my own now. It's me and Mary against the world and I have to keep her safe at all times…_ Her eyes darted to the elevator when she had a different plan in mind. Jett was actually brave [stupid] enough to place his hand on her side dangerously close to her breast. Thinking quickly, she stomped on his foot and kicked him, making him fall to the ground in agonizing pain.

"Get her!" he squeaked, his face cherry red

Robin instantly kicked Dak in the shin and groin before roundhouse kicking Wayne-Wayne in the face. She could tell they wouldn't be there for long and dashed for the stairs, running all the way to her apartment because she knew the elevators would only slow her down. She stepped over the gift basket and quickly got in her apartment, locking it before she heard the ding of an elevator. Surprisingly, Mary managed to stay asleep through everything. For that, Robin was extremely thankful. She knew her sister shouldn't be exposed to that. Robin quickly locked all her doors and windows, closed all curtains, and got Mary and herself ready for bed. _That's it! This was the last freaking straw! I'm done with ALL males for good. They're all cold-hearted, domestic-violence thugs! They're like dogs that salivate over a big bone. Forget ever having a boyfriend, forget making male friends, forget boys…ugh! They're cruel, abusive, ill-hearted, sneaky, gross, bastards that deserve to rot in a ditch in the middle of nowhere. Goodbye Raven Stevens for good! Robin King is officially taking over…_

**So, how was that? I know it's violent, psychotic, and twisted in the end, but I like it. Let me know if you have any suggestions. I want to make my story good. REVIEW! Xoxoxo Vampire-MusicLover09**


	4. Makovers & Mishaps

Hey people that review my stories. I love the feedback that I'm getting. Keep it up. If you have suggestions, I'm open to them. WARNING: language and violence

_Italics = Robin's thoughts _

**Bold = singing**

_**Bold italics = Carlos' thoughts**_

***sighs* I do not own Big Time Rush. =(**

* * *

Mary was asleep and Robin had just woken up in the middle of the night because it was hard to sleep. After the night's events, she was just about ready to pack up their stuff and hightail it back to New Jersey where Robin could be in familiar territory. She didn't care about the haunting memories, but she didn't want to be here. She needed a good reason to stay. After pondering things over in her mind and writing a few lists of pros and cons, she decided to stay. She just had to envelop her new character and set her boundaries. After going through her clothes and boxing what she didn't want, she looked online for stores that sold hair products, good-priced shoes, and little kids clothes. She had a plan and couldn't care less what people thought of her.

When morning came, she showered, threw on a pair of tight black skinny jeans, a purple tank top, and purple Converse. After they ate, she put Mary in jeans and a grey t-shirt. She put all she needed for the day in a messenger bag and carried Mary out the door. The first stop she made was a gas station where she filled her tank. She and Mary went from store to store getting accessories, school clothes [and shoes], shampoos and other hair products as well as hair dye and hair clips. After shopping was done, she took Mary to the park where they ate lunchables and swung on the swings. _Now is the time. School starts tomorrow and I can't deal with people well. If anyone messes with me, they won't know what hit 'em. Mess with my sister and it's on like Donkey Kong! I can't let her get hurt because it'll break my heart knowing she's in pain. No boy is gonna bring me down or harass me. If they think they can walk all over me, they better watch out 'cause the new girl is in town and she doesn't take any crap from anyone…_

She drove back to the Palm Woods and kept her gaze on the ground as she made her way to her apartment with Mary and all their stuff. Thankfully, the gift basket was gone. She put their stuff away and set Mary up for a nap before dyeing the tips of her bangs and two locks of hair pink. She cut off the dead ends and packed their backpacks with school supplies. By the time dinner was cooked, Robin had successfully gotten everything they needed for school ready. That night, they slept soundly, awaiting the day that lay before them…

_**CARLOS' POV**_

_**What's with Robin? I guess I'll never understand her… what's she hiding that makes her come off as shy? I mean, I like her, but when she seemed anxious in her apartment, I almost didn't ask her to the party. I wonder if I can help her…**_ It was after the party and me and the guys are back at the apartment. After Kendall and Jo started arguing, he came to the apartment and when I couldn't find Robin at the party, I was sad because I didn't get to dance with her or have a real conversation. What I found strange was the fact that Dak, Jett, and Wayne-Wayne walked in from the lobby around 9:15pm with angry looks on their faces. _**Now, about Robin…I need to know how to get inside her head or at least get her to talk to me. I wonder if she lives alone or if her parents live with her. Maybe I should see if she wants to hang out tomorrow. No, that's stupid. Who hangs out on a Sunday? She might be busy settling in. There's always school, I guess. But what if she thinks I'm weird?**_ Someone knocking on the door interrupted my thoughts.

"Carlos, hurry up. I still have to get ready for bed."

It was near midnight.

"Alright, I'll be out soon."

I quickly rinsed out my mouth and set my toothbrush in the cup. I walked out of the bathroom James and I shared. "It's all yours Princess Jamie." I smiled cheekily, making him glare at me. I didn't care I had a lot on my mind…okay, so I had one person on my mind, but it's all the same. I got in bed, but sleep wouldn't find me. I kept tossing and turning in my sleep as thoughts of Robin claimed my mind. After a few hours of restlessness, I got up and went to the kitchen. I decided water might help me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Mrs. Knight's voice was heard.

"Carlos, what are you doing up at 2:39 in the morning? You should be asleep." She scolded

"I can't sleep, Mrs. Knight." I groaned, taking a sip of water

She sat at the kitchen table and motioned me over. I sat next to her and put my chin on the table as I waited for her to speak.

"What's wrong, Carlos?"

"Robin is what's wrong."

"Oh, you mean that sweet girl with the little girl named…Mary?"

"Yup, that's her."

"I don't understand, Carlos. She's nice, sweet, and caring…at least that's what her daughter was saying, although she seems a bit young to be a mother." She pondered

"I don't know what's wrong with her!"

"Carlos Garcia, how dare you insult her like that!" she whisper-yelled at me

"I'm sorry! I just don't understand her. When she was in the elevator she was quiet and acted like we were going to steal her kid, then when I was in her apartment inviting her to the party she was all jittery and there was something in her eyes that I couldn't exactly figure out. Then at the party, she didn't want to dance, hardly spoke at all, and disappeared before I could ask her to dance with me. Sometimes I think she's afraid of me, or all of us really. I just want her to talk to me for once. It's like she's almost anti-social!"

"Have you ever thought she may be homesick, or not used to a lot of people, or she could just be shy?"

"I never thought about it like that, but I know there's gotta be more than just that. There's something about her eyes and the way she reacts to everything and everyone."

"Carlos, do you like her or something?"

"NO!" I answered quickly

She narrowed her eyes at me and gave me that look that meant I couldn't lie to her.

"Maybe a little…"

Her look intensified and it was as if she was burning my eyes.

"Okay, YES! I like her a lot!" I finally caved

"Was that so hard?"

"No, but I get nervous around her. I mean I was fine in the elevator, but one on one? I will look stupid."

"You don't know that, Carlos. She could be just as nervous as you, which might explain some of her behavior. Give it some time, okay? Just try to be her friend first and see where that leaves you. Monday would be a great day to start, considering it's the first day of school."

"Thanks, Mrs. Knight…that was helpful." I smiled and headed to my room

_**Is it possible she likes me? I mean, she did seem nervous. Okay so I lied. Mrs. Knight's advice was not helpful at all, but it gives me a little hope.**_ I sighed as I got in bed. I was able to catch some sleep until James so rudely awakened me. He pushed me off my bed and I groaned before jumping up quickly.

"Ow! What the hell, Carlos?" he groaned, rubbing his chin

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you, Jamie?"

"Yes!" he scowled

"That's what you get for waking me up by pushing me out of my comfortable bed."

"Well…you're stupid!"

"No, you're stupid!"

"You're more stupid than I am!"

"Ha! You just called yourself stupid, pretty boy!"

"That's it, you're going down!" he yelled before tackling me

We wrestled and yelled about who was more stupid until Katie forced us apart.

"You're both stupid! Now shut up because breakfast is ready." She yelled

We all ate breakfast and hung out by the pool for the day. I was bored and couldn't keep up with the guys' conversation so I went upstairs and went to sleep. Thoughts of Robin plagued my mind until morning came.

**_Alright, today's the day. I have to befriend Robin and get her to talk to me._**I got dressed and ate breakfast before leaving for school. I went downstairs to the lobby and turned left, catching up with Logan, James, and Kendall. Not many people knew this, but we had different school settings. Those in seventh grade and up were in one room while kindergarten through sixth was in another room. We had two teachers in the morning and two other teachers for after lunch. We still had lockers, which was used for our books that we had to buy from Bitters later on today. Usually the first day of school was the day we could hang out for the most part, but took a test that basically evaluated what we knew. It was kind of like a competition for the class, seeing who knew the most. Logan won every year and there was no doubt he'd have the highest score this year. Mr. Gibson stood in front of the classroom and cleared his throat loudly, so we quieted down.

"Class, we have a new student joining us this year. She's a long way from home…New Jersey to be exact. Please say good morning to Miss Robin King." He smiled

The door opened slowly and she stood in front of the class. _**Daaaaaaaaaaaayyyyuuummmmm!**_She looked amazing, much better than any model in magazines or even girls here. She was looking at the clock, biting into her bottom lip. I felt my jaw drop. _**God she's so hot! What I wouldn't give to kiss her pink pouty lips… s**_he was dressed in a red tank top, a leather jacket, and fitted black skinny jeans. Her pink-tipped bangs were…interesting along with her stripes of pink in her hair and highlighted her violet eyes. Her hair was curled at the ends, bangs included. She was also sporting a red knit hat, a black ringlet choker, bracelets, and red Vans. Her curves would put any girl to shame and…she had a lip ring? For whatever reason I found that very sexy and I felt like there was no way we could just be friends. We all chorused "Good morning, Robin" with smiles on our faces.

"Go ahead and take a seat anywhere you like, Robin…unless you have something you wanna say about yourself." Mr. Gibson said

She kindly shook her head and proceeded to the back of the class.

"Are you sure you want to sit all the way back there?"

She nodded her head and I noticed she was sitting behind James, having one empty desk between them. I quickly raised my hand.

"Yes Carlos?"

"Can I move seats?" I asked hopefully

"No. you had plenty of time to do that before class started."

I frowned, jealous of the fact that James would have the opportunity to talk to her as often as he wanted. I turned back to the front after she put her neon rainbow polka dotted backpack in the empty seat. He allowed us to hang out and talk amongst ourselves while he got the tests ready. I turned around and noticed Robin writing in a book with ear buds in her ears. James got up and stepped close to her, taking a bud out and whispering something in her ear before groaning in pain and rubbing his shin. _**Haha serves him right for trying to move in on my girl.**_ Finally, Mr. Gibson came back and passed out the tests. I was nervous, seeing as there was a lot I didn't know how to do. When I finished, I turned in my test and chanced a glance at Robin. She was biting her lip in deep concentration, pen tapping away at her cute button nose before she smiled, dimples showing, and scribbled away at her paper. I guess I turned my glance into a stare because Mr. Gibson gave me a look, clearing his throat. I turned around in my seat, thinking of a plan to at least talk to her at some point today. By the time I came up with my plan, Mrs. Collins walked in and gave us a questionnaire/survey to fill out. We talked until it was lunchtime and I couldn't have been more happy for a lunch break in my life. As I finished getting food on my lunch tray, James pushed me towards a table and my lunch spilled all over…Robin. _**Crap, crap, crap!**_ I was about to apologize when she grabbed her bag and pushed me away before running away. _**Stupid James, ruining my chance with Robin! Why can't I win? All I want to do is talk to her for a while. I need to know what triggers that unreadable expression in her eyes.**_

"What the hell, James?" I exclaimed

"What?" he smirked

"You know what!"

"Aww, are you mad because you dropped your rib sandwich?"

"No! I'm mad 'cause you made me drop my lunch on Robin! Now she's gonna hate me forever…"

"I saw you salivating over her like everyone else."

"Shut up! You were probably drooling and doing perverted things with your eyes." I accused

"So you weren't imagining what it would be like to touch her soft ivory skin?"

"I was thinking about her full pouty lips, thank you very much!"

"Whatever you say Carlos!" he winked

_**I love James like a brother, but sometimes he can be so obnoxious!**_ I went to a vending machine and grabbed some snacks before sitting with Logan, James, and Kendall, who were apparently discussing Robin.

"That girl is a tough cookie!" James said

"I'll say! She kicked you right in the shin. Any higher and you would've been on the ground, writhing in pain." I smiled

"She wasn't even wearing steel-toed boots and it hurt like hell!" James exclaimed

"What did you say to her?" Kendall asked, curious

"In simple terms, I told her she looked sexy and good enough to eat." He blushed

"James, you're an idiot." Logan laughed

"What did I do? It worked on everyone else, so why not her?" James shrugged

"She's not like all the other girls, James. Every girl is different, but similar in ways. Robin is…quite uniquely different." I smiled widely

"Well, we all know who Carlos' crush is!" Kendall said, nudging my shoulder

"Wow, you're already crushing on the new girl!" Logan said, shocked

"Whatever! I have to go." I said, standing up

"Why? So you can go suck face with Robin?" James smirked

_**Okay, now I really want to mess up that pretty face of his. As much as I want to do that, I honestly can't. She'd definitely hate me forever and most likely do worse than she did to James.**_

"No, but I want to apologize." I answered truthfully

"Good luck, Carlos. I hope all goes well." Kendall smiled

"See? At least he's understanding."

"Just make sure to get back before lunch is over. You have ten minutes." Logan informed me

"Thanks, guys."

Soon I was off in search of Robin. I searched all over, but got sidetracked when I heard singing coming from under me (I was on a set of stairs). I looked down and saw Robin singing with ear buds in her ears as she wrote in a book. It must have been a new song because I heard this:

**I will break into your thoughts  
With what's written on my heart  
I will break, break**

**I'm so sick, infected with  
Where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss, selfishness**

**I'm so sick, I'm so sick **

**If you want more of this  
We can push out, sell out, die out  
So you'll shut up and stay sleeping  
With my screaming in your itching ears**

**I'm so sick, infected with  
Where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss, selfishness**

**I'm so sick, I'm so sick**

**Hear it, I'm screaming it  
You're heeding to it now  
Hear it, I'm screaming it  
You tremble at this sound**

**You sink into my clothes  
This invasion makes me feel  
Worthless, hopeless, sick**

**I'm so sick, infected with  
Where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss, selfishness**

**I'm so, I'm so sick**

**I'm so sick, infected with  
Where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss, selfishness**

**I'm so (I'm so)  
I'm so sick (I'm so sick)  
I'm so (I'm so)  
I'm so sick (I'm so sick)**

_**Wow, her voice is amazing! I've never heard a voice so amazing in my life. I wonder if she's signed already. Maybe I should talk to Gustavo or something…**_

"Wow…" I breathed

_**Crap, she caught me watching her! Quick, be smooth. **_She started to get up with an angry look on her face as she went farther down the stairs. The bell rang and I sighed, making my way back to class. I managed to squeeze in just before the late bell sounded. After a few minutes, Mrs. Harrison cleared her throat, looking at the roll sheet.

"Um, is Robin King here?" she asked, looking worried

The guys looked at me and I shrugged. I had no idea where she—

"Sorry I'm late. I kinda got lost." She blushed

_**Could she be any cuter?**_ I noticed she was wearing a white t-shirt that read "The Ramones" on the front to replace her tank top I ruined. She glared at me intensely enough that I shrank in my seat as shivers ran down my spine. Her eyes were a cold blue color. _**Wait, does she wear contacts? I thought her eyes were violet.**_ We did some worksheets and got a list of the books we needed as we left the classroom one by one. _**I will never get Robin to talk to me with all these mishaps happening. Is she really upset that I overheard her singing? Will we ever be friends or manage a conversation? This is going to be a long year…**_

* * *

***song = I'm So Sick-Flyleaf**

**Poor Carlitos… I know this was a sucky chapter, but I'll work on making it better. I hope you liked this chapter. What did you think? Suggestions? Comments? REVIEW! Xoxoxo Vampire-MusicLover09**


	5. Cannibal

**Hello my readers, thanks for reading the story so far. I'm trying to keep my promise of updating weekly, so bear with me please. If you have suggestions, please be honest. I really want to make an amazing story. **

**I don't own BTR.**

* * *

_Carlos: When can I talk to Robin?_

_Me: You'll talk to her soon enough, Carlitos. Be patient, okay?_

_Carlos: But I wanna talk to her now!_

_Me: Keep talking to me like that and you'll never speak to her, and she'll end up with James._

_Carlos: Okay, fine. *pouts*_

_Me: Don't pout at me like that, Mister Garcia._

_*Robin walks in*_

_Robin: Hey, uh when are we gonna get some more self-defense or other action in here? Please tell me I can be pissed off and full of rage._

_Carlos: Hi, Robin… *drools*_

_Robin: Uh…I'll get back to you on that later when he's not drooling. I have to go pick up Mary and call Annalei. *walks away*_

_Carlos: Bye Robin! _

_Me: Carlos, stop drooling! I will try to get you to talk to her, but that's gonna be hard. I'll figure something out. It may not be until next chapter, but I promise to work on it._

_Carlos: You'd better work on it fast because I can't wait much longer. If I don't get to talk to her soon, I'll—_

_Me: NO! Don't sick one of the other guys on me, PLEASE!_

_Carlos: Then you better—_

_Me: Wait, I own this story. I can do whatever I want. *laugh evilly*_

_Carlos: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

_Me: There's nothing you can do, Carlitos._

_Carlos: *shows shirtless pic of Kendall*_

_Me: *falls out of seat* Okay, okay! I'll see what I can do, geez!_

_Carlos: Next time, it won't just be a picture! –he smirked_

_Me: Just kill me why don't you? You know I love random pictures of you guys and what do you do? You show me a pic of Kendall shirtless. Just my luck! I hate having you boys as my weakness…other than pudding, wheat thins, applesauce… -I muttered_

_Logan: Nope! You love having us as a weakness. –he smiled_

_Me: Logan, when did you get here? You scared me! Please stop being so hot with your dimples!_

_*Logan smirks, grinning wider*_

_Me: That's it. Both of you go away so I can write this chapter because you're distracting me…_

* * *

I got my paper and saw the books I needed. _Sweet! Anatomy, Honors Calculus, Geology, Physics…all easy classes. _I put the paper in my binder and walked over to the daycare center to pick up Mary [she stays here until I get out of school because she's out almost two hours before me]. I couldn't help but feel like there were eyes on me, but ignored it. Mary was happy to see me and rushed over, hugging my legs before grinning and holding up a picture of a rainbow and two people under it. Creative/performing arts talent runs in the family. Mum always said she got her artistic side from me because my room back home had a bunch of drawings and sketches all over the walls along with my music artist posters. My art teacher always got me to enter contests for art and i always won grand prize. _Maybe I should get back to that._

"Mommy, I drew a picture for you. It's me and you under a big rainbow!" she grinned

"Aww, I love it, Baby Bear. How about we go get a snack and we'll hang it up on the fridge? It will be the first work of art in our apartment." I bent down, hugging her

"Can we have apple slices?"

"Fruit is always a definite yes, Sweetie Pie. Now let's go so we can get some other stuff done as well. I wanna hear all about your first day as a Second grade student."

"Yay! I have a lot to say, Mommy." She giggled

_She is so cute._ I signed her out and started making my way to find an elevator, inwardly fuming as Mary held my hand. _Ugh! Why did my tank top have to be ruined? I only bought it yesterday. Now it smells like Barbecue sauce, chocolate cake, and lemonade. That is a grody combination of smells and I was fuming. At least my jacket is okay. If I were a guy, I would have beat him up, but it could have been worse. I could have been wearing the Ramones shirt I'm wearing now, but then he would've seriously gotten punched and kicked hard. Mess with a new tank top and I don't like you. Mess with a band tee and you're on my bad side forever. Moreover, whom does he think he is to spy on me like that? I don't like it when people listen in on me singing. I was just letting off some steam singing a series of songs, alternating between FM Static and Flyleaf. I was in the zone until he opened his mouth. I was angry and stormed off to change my shirt, soak it, and blow off more steam. Sure, I was late to class, but it was totally worth it. He looked my way and I glared at him with my color-changing eyes. My eyes are like my own mood ring. My natural eye color is violet, but depending on how I feel, it changes. I swear, I wanted to kick James where it hurt, but didn't wanna cause a scene. Who is he to call me "sexy" and say I'm good-looking enough to eat? How does he know if I taste sweet or not? Isn't that like cannibalism or something? I mean human meat? Gross. He really is an oddball._ Finally, we made it to an elevator. Someone managed to squeeze in and it just had to be Carlos Garcia of all people. I don't want to talk to him because he seems like he wants to know stuff like a nosy person. I sighed and Mary hugged my leg, making me look down with a smile, my eyes turning a light pink color. I patted her head and looked up to see Carlos staring at me, my eyes going normal.

* * *

_**Carlos' POV**_

I was staring at her, trying to figure out what I wanted to say and she looked back at me. Her eyes changed from a light pink to violet. _**Say something, Carlos! Let her know what's on your mind.**_

"Robin, I'm sorry about everything. I didn't mean to spill my lunch all over you or eavesdrop on you singing. James pushed me and I wanted to apologize so I came looking for you. I heard singing and it was like the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard. I looked down and listened closely as you sang another song. I couldn't walk away."

"Speaking of James, tell him I don't like the way he talked to me and I don't like cannibals."

"What?"

"Earlier in class he said I looked sexy and good enough to eat. He said he bet that I taste sweet."

_**I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He still deserves what he got.**_

"Robin, he didn't really mean that literally. He just meant…"

"What?" she asked, curiously

_**Wow, she's innocent-minded. How is that even possible? She's like 17 I think.**_

"It's nothing. He was just being perverted and weird." I sighed

"Oh, okay."

The elevator stopped on her floor and she stepped out. Before I could say anything else, she was out the elevator with her phone to her ear and I pushed the button for my floor. _**Wow, she actually had a real conversation with me. Maybe it's a good thing James is such a player. I actually had a real conversation with Robin. It was an honest conversation. Now, I just have to figure out how to get her to like me, which means James is out for advice. I had a convo with the most beautiful girl in the world without being too nervous. She also happens to be innocent, which only adds to her beauty and makes her more attractive. Maybe I can talk to her in class or at lunch.**_ I walked into apartment 2J pretty much on a high, floating to James' and my shared room. It's crazy to think that a girl could have that effect on me, but she was different. She wasn't like Sasha or the red-shirted girl. She's shorter, with more curvature, a slightly edgy style and attitude, and she's a bit mysterious I guess. I fell asleep with thoughts of Robin in my mind.

"Carlos, wake up. It's time to eat, buddy."

"I'm not hungry, Robin. I just wanna be with you…" I mumbled

"Dude, I'm not Robin! Get up now or I'll tell everyone you have intense dreams about the new girl." James smirked

_**Was I talking in my sleep or something? All I remember is dreaming that Robin and I went on a fun date at an amusement park. Hmm, oh well.**_ I got up and went to the table. Tonight we were having cheeseburgers and homemade fries. There was an awkward silence and everyone seemed to be staring at me. I decided to ignore it for now and focus on what I'd say to Robin next. Mama Knight broke the silence.

"So, you seemed happy when you came home, Carlos."

"Did I?"

"Yeah, you did. You practically floated to your room." Katie stated

"Huh."

"So what happened today? Anything interesting?" Mama Knight pressed on

"Not really."

"That's not what I heard…or saw." Katie said

"What did you see that we didn't" Logan asked

"Nothing that you should be too worried about."

"Katie!" Mama Knight warned

"Okay, fine. On my way to the bathroom, I saw Robin coming out of the stairwell with a ruined shirt and tears streaming down her face with her phone to her ear."

"Crap, I made her cry."

"Carlos, you don't know that." Kendall said

"Yeah I do. I made her cry and now she'll hate me forever."

"If you made her cry, then why were you so happy?" James asked

"In the elevator, I talked to her. we had a real conversation and it felt nice just talking to her, although it was like she was…I don't know. She was in a rush. Oh, and James, before I forget she sent you a message."

"Did she now? What did she say? She wants to go out with me, I knew it." He said smugly, combing his hair as he looked in his mirror

"Do you really wanna know?"

"I have to know what the beautiful creature said."

"Alright, if you really wanna know."

"Carlos, you'd better tell me now!"

"Alright, Princess Jamie. Don't get your boxers in a twist!"

"Carlos!"

"Robin said, and I quote,' Speaking of James, tell him I don't like the way he talked to me and I don't like cannibals.'"

His jaw dropped and it took Katie pulling his ear for him to get back to us.

"That's impossible! All the girls love me! I'm hot, dateable, and I have washboard abs! how can girls resist? I mean, I—" he sputtered

"I hate to break it to ya, but you're not all that." Katie rolled her eyes

"Maybe she doesn't like guys that comb their hair all the time so it's perfect or guys that talk about their washboard abs." Mama Knight suggested

"James, before you start ranting again; maybe you should think about the fact that she just moved in, so she hasn't had much time to develop a crush. Also, she keeps to herself so that's a sign she may not be very out-going, so she might want a guy that's fun-loving and confident. Then again, she has a kid, so she may not be looking for a relationship-despite the fact that she looks a bit young to have had a child." Logan informed

"Logan, just how would you know all this?" Kendall asked

"I do my research, look up statistics." He shrugged

"We'll see about that. Tomorrow, she'll be mine!" James declared

"How do you know she won't pepper spray you or kick you before running away, saying she doesn't like cannibals?" I laughed

"Very funny! I have to admit, with a body like hers and her age, it's a wonder she's innocent. I mean Katie would understand and she's in the seventh grade. This is going to be a challenge, but I'm all for it." He smiled

"James, Lucy still doesn't like you. What makes you think Robin will?" I asked, curious about his answer

"Oh, Lucy likes me, but she doesn't want to admit it. It might damage her ego. Robin is different, so she expresses her feelings through violence." He said like it was just that simple

"Of course, because when a girl likes you she kicks you after you told her she was sexy and looked good enough to eat!" I said sarcastically

"James, why would you say that to a girl you hardly know?" Mama Knight asked

"It usually works!" he shrugged

"James, maybe she needs a friend right now." Kendall said

"Yeah, a boyfriend! Before anyone interrupts, trying to be Lucy's friend didn't work." James stated

"Well, trying to be her boyfriend didn't work well either." I replied coldly

"Don't be jealous, Carlos. We all know she would have picked you if I weren't so good-looking." He scoffed

"As if! We all know it's because she likes Kendall and you were practically throwing yourselves at her." Logan interrupted

"Boys, stop arguing over girls and eat your dinner."

"Most girls like the idea of boys fighting over them, but Robin is…there's something weird about that girl. It's like she's hiding something." Katie said aloud in thought

_**There's something about her alright, but that'll have to be discovered in time…**_

* * *

**What did you think about it? Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please Review. I'll try to update every Friday. I love you guys! xoxoxo Vampire-MusicLover09**


	6. Tears, New Friends, and an Ego

**Thank you for reviewing my story. It really makes my day. Here's another chapter.**

**I don't own Big Time Rush. *punches wall***

**WARNING: language**

**Enjoy the story!**

* * *

I called Annalei as I stepped out of the elevator and made my way to my apartment.

"Hi, Annalei!" I said, unlocking my door

"Hey girlie! How are you doing? I heard that you moved closer to my town, that you changed your name; you have Mary, and a new character. Is any of that true?" she asked excitedly

"I'll send you a pic of what I'm wearing now."

I took a full picture of myself and sent it to her.

"Ooh, sexy! If I weren't related to ya, I'd definitely date you!" she joked

"Well, I finally did something different with my hair, but I really like it. I would have gone with red, but everyone always adds red. I decided pink would be okay. It's my least favorite color, but it'll do."

"So what's this I hear about you wanting to castrate all males?"

"Who told you that lie?"

"Your mom, of course!"

"It's not true. I just have a problem with bastards who think they can walk all over me and hurt me or my sister."

"I see now. She made it seem like you hated all boys. Speaking of boys, I heard you're going to school with four of the hottest boys in the nation!" she squealed

"Oh, you mean the members of Big Time Rush? Yeah, we're in the same class."

"OMG! You act like they're not celebrities. I totally want James!"

"You can have him! He's vain, vulgar, and a cannibal."

"What do you mean?"

"He said some things I didn't like and apparently didn't understand."

"Of course! You would be the only 17 year old in the world that wouldn't know anything about intimacy or flirting."

"I can't help it, Annalei. I spent a seven years raising my sister and I wasn't interested in boys or…intimacy and flirting. It's stupid and leads to a lot of problems and mirages of love. I already have mum, you, Mike, and Mary, so that's all the love I need. Boys are complicated and love is sacred. Relationships are for people who can't be happy on their own."

"Says the girl who's been through a living hell and drools over Brandon Boyd."

"That's not true! I just love the music video for 'Drive' and it looks cool. I also like the one by Gotye."

"How many girls raised a baby at ten years old, went to school, and started a job at the flower shop near the daycare center just to be close to her sister?"

"I don't know, but there are people that have it harder than I did. So, what's new with you?"

"I have a surprise for you coming on Wednesday and I want us to get a few things together."

"As long as it includes tattoos or new piercings, I'm in!"

"You're such a piercing and ink slut!" Annalei laughed

"Hey! I like what I like and don't act like you don't like the tattoos and piercings we already got together two years ago."

"I know...yes, we'll get tattoos and piercings."

"As long as Mary comes, it's all good. I don't wanna leave her here for too long. I know how side-tracked you get when shopping."

"What a motherly thing to say!"

"Oh be quiet you! I don't want anything to happen to her. I want her to be safe at all times and I want her to be happy. After all the things she's seen, I want her to enjoy life. I can't give her everything, but I want to give her the best that I can. Is it a crime to want my sister to be happy and worry-free?"

"No it's not. You're a great mother, Kit Kat. I bet our grandpa is proud looking down on what he sees. It doesn't make sense as to why your mom had another child and she wasn't ready. That's what happens when you have a weak moment and you forget about the child you already have." Annalei sighed

"How's Mike doing? I haven't heard from that jerk since Mary's birthday!" I said, changing the subject

"He's good, but he misses seeing you every now and then. Maybe we'll both make a trip out there to see you soon. I'll let you go, but we'll talk sometime in the near future. I still have a few things to sort out. Stay strong and try not to kill or injure any guys too badly." She laughed

"Hang in there Snickers and tell M&M I said hi. Also, I'll try, but no promises." I smiled, hanging up

I made a quick snack of apple slices and ¼ of a sandwich for both of us and helped Mary with her homework before putting the picture she drew on the fridge. We went downstairs and purchased the books we'd need from Bitters at the front desk. Jo, Jett, and Dak walked up to us as Mary and I left the desk. Jo was glaring at me before she spoke up.

"I heard what happened after you left the party and I'm not very happy about that."

"Well, I don't know why you're talking to me when you should be talking to Wayne-Wayne, Jett, and Dak."

"No, I'm talking to you because you were all over them when you left. All they did was hold the elevator for you and you started whoring around in front of your own child. Stay away from my man!" Jo said, holding on to Jett's arm

"Jo, I don't know what they told you, but they cornered me and tried to get me to '_have fun_' with them. I tried to leave, but they got closer, so I ran for it."

"Bitch, please! Everyone at the Palm Woods knows you're a whore that has no talent." Jo sneered, kissing Jett full on the mouth

_Ugh! Gag me with a spoon! _Finally, Jo pulled away.

"Jo, I thought you were with Kendall. What are you doing with Jett anyway?"

"What the popstar doesn't know won't hurt him, so mind your own God damn business BITCH!" she yelled, slapping Robin across the face hard enough that a hand mark was already bruising

_Jo messed with the wrong girl! She's the bitch, not me. How dare she hit me in front of Mary! I already know Mary is going to be in tears when we get to the apartment. If I thought Jo was dumb before, she's an idiot now because she could have hurt Mary, who was in my arms as she slapped me. She wants a fight, she's got a fight._ Forgetting about our books, I ran to the stairwell, not stopping until I locked us into our apartment. Mary was crying hard into my shoulder, fisting my shirt tightly in her small hands.

"Mary, can you let go of me? I need to clean my face."

She shook her head 'no' and I sighed, knowing she'd respond like that. _My face shouldn't be too bad. I can take care of it later. Mary is in distress right now._ I grabbed a box of tissues and lie down on the couch. I wiped a few stray tears that had fallen from my face and started singing music by Enya and other music artists with soft songs as I rubbed Mary's back to let her know everything would be okay. I felt her relax and she lifted her face with puffy red eyes and a runny nose. I cleaned off her face with tissue and smiled, hoping to make her feel better.

"Mommy…is you okay? Did that mean lady hurt you?" she asked fearfully

"Mary I'm fine. She hurt me a little, but I'll be okay. Did you get hurt?"

"No, mommy…does it hurt?" she whispered, reaching out and touching my face

I winced a little and she quickly pulled her hand back. I smiled and kissed her forehead. _Mary is such a sweet kid. She's not hurt, so it's all good._ She got on her hands and knees, steadying herself on my stomach and chest, kissing the side of my face three times.

"Better now?" she smiled, tears still brimming her eyes

"Yeah, I feel better now." I lied

She smiled wider, a look of accomplishment in her eyes before she wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my chest. I was so happy to have Mary with me because she anchors me. Jo would have been beaten up if Mary weren't with me. I hate that she had to see my get hurt…again, but as long as she remains unharmed, I don't mind at all. I'd die for Mary if I had to because my world revolves around her. We laid there for a few hours and I looked at my phone to see it was 7:34pm. I had to get Mary something to eat.

"Baby Bear, can you let go so I can make us food?" I asked softly

She shook her head and clung tighter to my shirt stubbornly. I sighed and smiled at her. I held onto her back and sat up, making her wrap her legs around me. _Looks like we're having Velveeta shells and cheese and fruit cups for dinner._ I made my way to the kitchen and got two microwave bowls of shells and cheese before adding water and microwaving it. It's a miracle that I made us dinner with the use of one hand, but I managed. After dinner, I didn't bother with getting us out of our clothes. I just lay on top of the covers on the bed in my room with Mary clinging to me like a koala.

* * *

_**Carlos' POV**_

Me, the guys, Lucy, and Camille all went down to the lobby to purchase our books from Bitters. The scene before us made us all freeze and watch in awe. We were far enough to be unnoticed, but close enough to hear and see what was going on. Jo called Robin a bitch and a talentless whore before kissing Jett on the mouth, shoving her tongue down his throat. Kendall and I were boiling, but the others held us back. Robin looked disgusted and was holding Mary, so I focused on that. Robin confronted her about being in a relationship with Kendall and Jo told her to mind her own business before slapping her hard across the face. It was a slap that could be heard from anywhere in the room. For a few seconds, Robin just stood there and I was about to run when Kendall stopped me.

"Carlos, stop!"

"Why? She slapped Robin!"

"Carlos, you can't hit Jo! Technically she's a girl."

"I should be able to! She's not a girl, Kendall. She's a liar, and a cheater, and a bitch, and…she's the devil in an innocent-looking human's skin!" I fumed

Robin ran towards the stairs crying and we all noticed her books still sitting on the table.

"You'd better run!" Jo yelled after Robin, taking Jett by the hand to a nearby hall

They both had satisfied smirks on their faces as the rest of the residents stood in shock. _**God, Jo and Jett make me sick! They deserve each other!**_ Kendall was actually quite calm, but my vision was red.

"Carlos, you can't hurt Jo, but me and Camille can. We promise she'll pay and Robin…we'll think of something to try and help her. The first thing is making sure she gets her books back."Lucy said quietly, but we could all hear the anger and malice in her voice

"Kendall, why aren't you upset? I thought you were in love with Jo." Camille stated

"I never loved Jo. That was all an act so I wouldn't be single. I was only upset because she was being horrible to Robin when Robin hasn't done anything to her. Now, we have to get our books and find out what happened after Robin left the party…but we need to know both sides of the story. MOVE OUT!"

_**Kendall and his typical leader skills... I still hate Jo for hurting Robin. Lucy and Camille have to come up with a pretty awesome plan.**_ We all purchased our books and went back to our apartments, making a plan to meet up at school during lunch. I went to sleep that night, praying Robin was okay. I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face, the reason being I would be able to see Robin.

Finally, we all got to school and I was saddened because Robin was nowhere to be seen. Mr. Gibson got a puzzled look on his face.

"Um, does anyone know where Robin King is?" he asked nervously

"I don't know. Maybe we should ask Jo!" Lucy said aloud

Everyone turned to look at Jo, who was blowing a pink bubble and talking to Jett flirtatiously.

"Miss Taylor, stop flirting with Mister Stetson. You can make out with him after class. What happened to Robin King?" he asked sternly

"I don't know! Maybe she's doing what whores do best-sleep around." She sneered

"Detention for two weeks! I don't allow slandering in this classroom." He exclaimed

"You don't know what she does! I'm just saying…" Jo said, filing a nail

"Jo, detention for three weeks!"

Jo sighed and slumped in her seat, leaning her head back. He continued talking and let us know that test results would be announced during the last five minutes of school. I was anxious to see Robin walk through the door at any moment. The first half of the day went the same as yesterday, except he just made sure we had all purchased our books. We were all getting worried, but Robin walked in one minute before lunch. She looked like a bad girl from head to toe: black choker, black tank top, leather jacket, tight black jeans, and a chain on her pants, a studded belt, and shiny combat boots. She had black snakebite rings, spike bracelets with her other wristbands, a diamond nose stud, black gages in her ears, cold blue eyes, hair curled, and a look on her face that clearly read 'Don't fuck with me' yet I still found her attractive. She had a few piercings on her upper right ear. She gave Miss Collins an apologetic smile and I was surprised Miss Collins wasn't afraid of her. Jo's smile was wiped right off her face and she went pale. Jo looked about ready to shit herself as Robin started talking quietly with Miss Collins, glaring at Jo and getting the information we got earlier. We also had a surprise assignment that Miss Collins would explain later. [Teachers are limited, so whatever teacher is available, that's the teacher that taught us] She released everyone for lunch, so the gang and I went to the lunch lines. After we sat down at our table, we saw Robin texting on her phone as the lunch line moved slowly.

"Hey, you don't mind if I invite her to sit with us, do you?" Lucy asked

"You didn't have to ask, Lu. I was wanting to invite her to eat lunch, but she was still talking to Miss Collins." Camille answered

Lucy got up, made her way over to Robin, and started talking to her. Apparently, she was successful because Robin came back with a chicken sandwich, chocolate milk, and a fruit cup on her tray. She stood there with a blank look on her face until Camille smiled and motioned for her to sit across from her. Robin ate diligently as we all sat there in an awkward silence. James spoke up first.

"Robin, I'm so sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to offend you in any way and I'm not a cannibal. What I meant to say was that you're really hot and I like your-"

She put her hand up to silence him.

"It's okay, James. Apology accepted, but don't talk to me like that again."

"Got it." He gulped

"So, what kind of music are you into?" Lucy asked

"I like a bit of everything-rap, country, and screamo included."

"How do you think you did on the test?" I asked

"I think I did fairly well."

"How long have you lived in New Jersey? Does your family live there?" Logan asked

"I've lived there all my life, but I have family in Australia, Europe, Mexico, Spain, and Canada." She answered

"Interesting…" James mused, staring at her

"What are you staring at?"

"You…uh…"

"Did it hurt?" Camille asked

"When she fell from heaven? Of course it did!" James regained his confidence

Robin kicked him under the table and smiled smugly when his face went red and he stared down at his food.

"I mean all those piercings. It looks like they hurt." Camille explained

"No, they didn't. I'm actually looking forward to getting one or two more piercings and a tattoo." Robin stated, eating a spoonful of fruit

"Well aren't you a piercing freak!" Logan joked

"I guess I am!" she blushed, her eyes turning pink

"Woah! Do your eyes do that all the time?" Kendall asked, looking bugged out

"Uh…well, my eyes are like a mood ring for me. They tell how I feel."

"So what does pink mean?" I asked, remembering yesterday in the elevator

"Pink usually means I'm very happy, like heart-warming happy. Cold or icy blue means I'm upset and could really snap at you at any second. Violet is my natural eye color." She explained

"So what were you thinking of getting done?" Lucy asked, smiling with a twinkle in her eye

"I really want to get a belly button piercing, a peace heart tattoo behind my ear, and my daughter's *pauses for a second, eyes turning gold* uh, name on my back somewhere…or maybe on my side. I'm not exactly sure, but I want to get her name somewhere..."

_**So that really is her kid? I didn't realize. I don't care; I still like her and I don't care what anyone says, although something tells me not to believe she had a child at a young age.**_ We all heard James groan and his face was twisted in pain and…lust? Robin didn't notice, so she and Kendall picked up on conversation.

"Do you have any hobbies?" he asked

"I sing, sometimes dance, play guitar and drums when I can, cook, and do artistic stuff."

"What kind of 'artistic stuff?'" Logan asked, clearly intrigued

"Just drawing, doodling, painting, sketches and things like that." She smiled, looking down at her fruit cup, eyes going pink again

"You have a beautiful smile." I sighed

"Thanks, Carlos." She mumbled, eyes turning an electric blue

"Okay, what does gold and electric blue mean?" Kendall asked

"Gold is confusion and electric blue is a shocked type of happy."

"Well don't your eyes have a specific color for certain levels or types of feelings?" Lucy smiled, scooting closer to Robin

Robin didn't take notice, but the rest of us did. Suddenly Robin's phone went off and she quickly answered it.

"Hi mum…fine, I guess…she's already drawn a picture and I hung it up on the fridge *smiles*…I'm sorry for not answering the phone earlier, but I was in the middle of...something…I'm still in school, but I'm on my lunch break…I'm not sure how I did, but I think I did good…uh, I'll have to tell you later…I have one on Thursday afternoon…*looks around the table* yeah, I think I did…hang in there and stay strong. Don't hesitate to call…I'll walk out of class if I have to because you're very important to me. Yeah, I had a good time at the party. I love you too mum…goodbye." She hung up, her eyes a light gray with that look in her eye

"Is everything okay, Robin?" James asked

"Yeah, I'm fine James." She sighed, picking at her chicken sandwich

"Hey, if you need someone to talk to, we'll be here for you." Lucy stated in a caring voice, rubbing Robin's back

Robin looked around at us again; the look still in her eyes, but her eyes went back to her normal color.

"Thanks, you guys. I'll see you in class." She said, standing up

Before we could stop her, she ran off and we all stared after her.

"Okay, we have to find out what happened when she left the party ASAP. I don't know what caused that look in her eyes, but I have to get the bottom of it." I declared

"She just got off the phone with her mom, so maybe she's homesick." Logan suggested

"No, it's gotta be deeper than that. I just know it. She's got a secret, something about a past and I wanna know what it is." I said

"Carlos, she just moved here. Maybe she's not ready to open up to us yet." Camille said

"That's reasonable." I said sadly

* * *

_Raven's POV_

This morning I was very late for school because Mary didn't want me to leave and clung to me like it was the end of the world. I promised her that tonight we'd have pizza, salad, and chocolate pudding for dinner if she let go and behaved in school. She was afraid of me getting hurt again, so I promised I'd be more careful at school. After getting her to school, I went home and showered, covering my bruise. Jo looked like she'd seen a ghost and Jett, Wayne-Wayne, and Dak looked like they were going to pee on themselves when I walked in. Miss Collins seemed relieved to see me and wasn't fazed by my appearance. She explained what the class did when I was gone and continued talking while the others went to lunch. She asked why I was late and I couldn't lie, so I told her the truth. She apologized and handed me a piece of Red Vine. As I stood in the lunch line, a girl with red and black hair came up to me, introducing herself as Lucy. She talked to me as I got my lunch and convinced me to eat lunch with her and a few friends. They were all being nice to me and got to know me better by asking questions. When i said Mary was my daughter, it felt weird, but oh so right coming out of my mouth. Mum called and told me that Uncle Riley died, but she was doing okay. She asked about Mary and the dance and if I made more friends. What really hit home was when she wanted to know everything that happened so far. I didn't want to tell her what was really going on, but at least I could talk to my therapist on Thursday and show her what I'd written in my poetry book. I got up, excusing myself from the table and ran to an abandoned classroom. I sunk to the floor and started singing:

**The faster we're falling, we're stopping and stalling  
We're running in circles again  
Just as things we're looking up  
You said it wasn't good enough but still we're trying one more time**

**Maybe we're just trying too hard  
When really it's closer than it is too far**

**'Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep  
Up above in my head, instead of going under  
'Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep  
Up above in my head, instead of going under  
Instead of going under**

**Seems like each time, I'm with you I lose my mind  
Because I'm bending over backwards to relate  
It's one thing to complain but when you're driving me insane  
Well, then I think it's time that we took a break**

**Maybe we're just trying too hard  
When really it's closer than it is too far**

**'Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep  
Up above in my head, instead of going under  
'Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep  
Up above in my head, instead of going under  
Instead of going under  
(Instead of going under)  
Instead of going under  
(Instead of going under)**

**I can't sit back and wonder why  
It took so long for this to die and I hate it when you fake it  
You can't hide it you might as well embrace it  
So believe me it's not easy, it seems that something's telling me**

**I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep  
Up above in my head, instead of going under  
'Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep  
Up above in my head, instead of going under  
Instead of going under  
Instead of going under again  
Instead of going under  
Instead of going under again  
Instead of going under again  
(Instead of going under again)**

When the bell rang, I got up and went to class. We didn't do much of anything at first, but Miss Collins made an announcement that I was very excited about.

"Class, I've decided we should make our first English quarter about poetry."

There were many groans heard around the room, but I was hanging onto every word. Poetry was a good way to express how you feel and that's how I express my feelings and issues, which is why I have a poetry book. It even has its own title: Heart of a Fallen Angel. I think this would be a good thing for me since I haven't been able to write much since the long drive here, settling in, and drama. I smiled as she continued.

"I want all of you to write a poem that reveals a little about yourself that will be due on Friday. As a warm up, I want you all to go home, look up poems and other poets, and write a poem about either nature or something of sentimental value. I'll give you time to think about what you'd like to write and I'll announce the highest test score in 45 minutes." She smiled

I went right to work, brainstorming about what I wanted to write. I pulled out my notebook and wrote it there so I could show my therapist on Thursday afternoon. I had a feeling I was going to make it through this year. That's just how comforting poetry was to me. I'm the type that bottles my feelings until I can vent on paper, through exercise, or with music. I mean, I can do well with music, but something about writing my heart out on paper was much more satisfying. My therapist thinks I should grow up to be a poet or a lyricist.

"Robin, we found something of yours last night in the lobby." James said, turning back to face me

"What is it?" I asked, clueless

"We found some books. We walked up to Bitters and they were bought under your name." Lucy smiled, handing me a white cloth sack

I peered inside and sure enough, there were the books I purchased for Mary and me last night. _Aw, how sweet of them! I guess I do have true friends here._

"Aw, thanks you guys. I don't know why I left them. I guess I just blinked." I shrugged

Time flew by quickly and Miss Collins stood up again.

"Class, the student with the highest score on the test-"

Logan stood up with a smug grin on his face.

"-is Robin King!" she smiled

_Wow! Personally, I thought the test was easy, but I didn't expect to get the highest score._ Logan's jaw went slack and the entire class clapped for me.

"Robin, stand up." Miss Collins urged

I shyly stood up as they clapped louder.

"How is that even possible?" Logan exclaimed

"She got a perfect score-extra credit included!"

"But-bu-i…and…are you sure it's not a mistake?" he stammered

"Come look at the tests yourself, Logan and Robin."

The clapping stopped and we went up to her desk. We both looked over the tests and sure enough, I had a perfect score. I felt bad because I think I damaged his ego. His face was so shocked at the minor mistakes he made and I felt bad, but I also felt very smart. I mean, I could have graduated from high school last year, but I wanted to graduate with Dylan, despite the fact that I even had all the credits I needed. I promised him when we were younger that we'd graduate together, but now that's never gonna happen since the fallout we had recently. The school day ended and I set off to pick up Mary. I figured I could apologize to Logan with sweets and make him feel a little better. I got home and helped Mary with her homework before making dinner, eating, finishing my homework, and putting her to bed. I decided to catch some sleep before baking my apologies…

* * *

**song= "In Too Deep" by Sum41**

**i hope you liked it. I guess this is more of a filler chapter. I know it's a lot of drama, but oh well! Don't kill me! Questions? Comments? Suggestions? xoxoxo Vampire-MusicLover09**


	7. Baked Apologies, Poetry, & Fear

**Hi, I'm here again. Thanks for all the feedback.**

**I don't own Big Time Rush.**

**Enjoy!**

_Carlos: What the hell is wrong with Robin?_

_Me: Nothing is wrong with her. She's just having…technical difficulties._

_Robin: Hey, Kit Kat is today the Wednesday that Annalei was talking about? Hi Carlos._

_Me: Yeah it is. Oh, congrats on scaring Jo. She was totally pale!_

_Robin: Well, it's all thanks to your genius plan. I actually like the look and outfits you've given me so far. You make me look like such a good badass and loving mother all at once. I love it!_

_Carlos: You definitely rocked the "Bad Girl" look, Robin. By the way, how many tattoos do you have?_

_Robin: Wouldn't you like to know? –she smirked, walking away_

_Carlos: How many tattoos does she have, Kare-bear?_

_Me: I can't tell you. You'll have to find another way to get that information._

_Carlos: Oh Logan! –he said in a singsong voice _

_*Logan walks in shirtless*_

_Logan: Carlos, what the fuck? I was just about ready to go to sleep after Robin messed up my genius streak. I don't wanna deal with you right now._

_Carlos: Fine, go get Kendall._

_Logan: Uhh…Kendall's kinda busy right now. –he said nervously_

_Me: Doing what?_

_Logan: Kicking Jett's scrawny, conceited, Brad Pitt wannabe ass!_

_Me: Oh, tell him I said good luck and he'd better win._

_Logan: Anything for you, Snickers.*walks away*_

_James: Please tell me Robin won't be kicking me anymore. I have certain things I need to keep safe, Kit Kat._

_Me: If you weren't so perverted, then maybe I could save you, but you're a player that always looks to get into someone's pants._

_Carlos: I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off by now. –he smirked_

_James: Car-_

_Me: Before you strangle him, James, please leave my room so I can get this chapter done. You always manage to distract me when I need to focus._

_James: You do know that Kendall is now kicking Wayne-Wayne's ass right now, right?_

_Me: He'll be fine. I'm sure he can take care of himself. I promise to nurse his injuries when he's done beating people up._

* * *

I woke up and set to work, baking cookies and brownies. I don't know what Logan likes, so I'm making a little bit of everything. I made enough to feed an army, so I decided to save half because I know Mary will be all pouty when she finds out I didn't save her any. Maybe Mrs. Knight and Katie would like some as well. I can give them some just before school because they have to cool off right now. I cleaned up and got Mary ready for school. I threw on some ripped jeans and a "The Who" shirt that I made years ago [The Who is a real band from the '60s in case you didn't know] before putting my hair in its natural waves and putting a Native headband around my head. I put the still warm treats in a bamboo basket and I stopped at Mrs. Knight's apartment. She answered the door with a smile and immediately ushered Mary and me inside.

"What brings you here, Robin? Good morning Mary." she smiled

"Good morning Mrs. Knight." Mary giggled

"I was baking and I thought you might want to have some since I made enough to feed an army." I smiled

"Aw, how sweet of you. What did you bring?"

"I baked a few different kinds of cookies and brownies."

"Do you mind if I taste one now?"

"Go ahead!" I smiled, handing her two large containers

She opened the brownie container and took a bite of a fudge brownie. Her eyes went wide and she grinned before swallowing.

"Robin, are you a baker or something? That's the best brownie I've tasted!"

"I'm not a baker, but I've cooked and baked a lot-especially for my mum's work events as well as other things I've had at my schools. I like cooking and baking." I smiled

"Well, I don't want you to be late for school so I'll let you go. Thanks so much for the treats, Robin."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Knight!"

With that, I left and took Mary to her class before heading to my own with my basket of treats. I saw the others trying to console Logan, who had his head on the desk. They all looked up when I walked in and gave me half smiles.

"Guys, I got this." I smiled

I set my bag in my seat and took my basket, squatting down by Logan. I gently placed my hand on his back, rubbing circles into his back soothingly. I felt really bad about doing this to him.

"Hey, Logan I'm really sorry about the test. It was all just really easy for me. I couldn't help it. I want you to know that I'm sorry." I said in a soft voice

At that moment, he looked at me and I could see the sadness in his eyes. For a few seconds we just stared at each other.

"I made you something, Logan."

"What is it?"

"Just an array of sweets…well brownies and cookies. I'm not sure what you like, so, yeah. I hope you like them."I smiled setting the basket on his desk, "Make sure I get my basket back." I said, standing up

"Thanks, Robin!" he said, his eyes lighting up

I walked back to my seat and plugged in my headphones, singing along to "Bewitched" by Blood On The Dance Floor as I looked over my nature poem I had to recite today. I could feel eyes on me and looked up to see the guys, Camille, and Lucy looking at me. Logan looked like he was in heaven as he ate a brownie while the others looked from me to Logan and back with unreadable expressions on their faces. I simply shrugged and looked down at my notebook. I chanced taking off my headphones and giggled as I heard Logan making weird noises.

"What the hell did you put in those sweets?" James asked

"Why?"

"Logan here is practically having an orgasm in his mouth because of your sweets!" Carlos laughed

"It's simple! I made it from scratch and put the usual ingredients in there. I can't tell you my secret."

"Why? Did you put drugs in there?" Kendall joked

"Yeah, because I totally want Logan to be high and loopy because he ate 'special brownies,'" I said sarcastically

"So, who's The Who?" Camille asked

"It's a band from the 1960's during the "Hippie Era" or Vietnam War Era. Bands like them along with The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, or artists like Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin were very popular. "

"Well, well, well…if it isn't the little hippie whore!" Jo sneered in my ear

"I may look like a hippie, but you're the whore!" I retorted

It was true. Jo was dressed like a whore. She had on the tightest most see-through skimpy tube top you could find, a short skirt, that even if she bent forward slightly, you'd see EVERYTHING, a red plaid shirt, and a pair of cowboy boots. She smelled strongly of cheap perfume and cherry lip-gloss.

"You're just jealous!" she grinned

"Of what? Sadly, you look trashy and slutty. You look…like a hot mess, Jo. I'd never go out looking like that because it's not cute, pretty, or sexy in any way."

"Whatever! You're just mad because I slapped you into reality. At least I didn't have a kid when I was 11!" she laughed

_Okay, she's pissing me the fuck off. I don't have to sit here and take this shit from this dumb ass slut. She's a girl that probably slept with at least half the guys here!_ I stood up, not caring that she was still taller than I was.

"Jo, first of all someone needs to slap you into reality because you think you're all that and a bag of chips. The truth is, you just want to lie on your back and sleep with whomever you can. You want to be an actress and will sleep with whomever it takes to be famous! For the record, I didn't have a kid at 11. I am proud to say that I have never been pregnant or slept around with anyone. The little girl that was in my arms when you slapped me is my baby sister, Mary. She's living with me because for now I'm her legal guardian. You act as though the world revolves around you and you can get what you want, but you can't! The world doesn't work that way and your daddy can't hold your hand the whole time, spoon-feeding you your whole life. By the way, you're not as pretty as 'daddy' says, so suck on that!" I erupted, smirking at her

Once I finished, I noticed Miss Collins standing at her desk. She didn't say anything, but the whole class was staring and I felt my face get red, so I sat down. Jo was red with tears streaming down her face.

"Jo, go home and change your distracting outfit. Then you can come to class and continue on with our lesson."

Jo nodded and ran out, the class cheering. I started to feel bad, but then I didn't. The teacher didn't say anything, so I guess it was deserved and long overdue. Miss Collins let us have a free day, but after lunch, we had to recite our poems. The gang smiled and talked to me while Logan shared some of the sweets I made. They all wanted to know my recipe, but I couldn't tell them. There wasn't really anything special that I did. Sometimes I just put little pieces of chocolate candies in it, but I just made it from scratch. Finally, lunch came and we all sat at our usual table.

"So, Mary really isn't your daughter?" Carlos asked

"You're a virgin?" James questioned

"Why does your sister live with you?" Lucy wondered

"No, no comment and I'd rather not go into deep detail about that right now. All I can say is that Mary isn't my daughter, but she might as well be. Mum had a second child, but she wasn't ready, so I've practically raised her." I answered

"So what was the answer to my question?" James smiled

"No comment. I don't want to talk about that. It's an…uncomfortable subject for me right now." I said, trying to keep the tears at bay

"James, stop asking. If she doesn't want us to know, that's her business. Stop thinking with your penis and think with your brain for once." Lucy told him

"Thanks, Lulu." I smiled

"You're welcome, Robin." She smiled

"Now, about those desserts…" Kendall started

"I promise you, it's just made from scratch. There's nothing special to put in there."

"I tasted Twix in one of the brownies and a few cookies had Oreos and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in them." Logan smiled

"That's the only thing, though."

"I'll get your recipes somehow, some way." Kendall smiled, wiggling his eyebrows

I giggled, feeling happy that I had some good friends.

"Ew, Kendall that's gross!" Logan shouted

"Logie, you're gross." I smiled

"Well you're a freak!" Logan smirked

"Logan, I was kidding!" I said in a 'DUH!' voice

"Well I wasn't!"

"So because I have multiple piercings and tattoos I'm a freak?"

"Absolutely!" he winked

"Then I guess I'm a freak."

"Have you decided where you want your next tattoo?" Carlos asked

"I want Mary's name to be on my right shoulder wing." I smiled

"Wow, doesn't that hurt?" James asked

"A little, but Mary's worth every ounce of pain. I want her to be happy and carefree and I want her name on my shoulder. She means a lot to me."

"I can tell she means a lot. I bet you're an amazing mother to her." Kendall smiled

"I'm not doing a good job if Jo can slap me while she's in my arms, causing her to cling to me like her life depends on it. That's why I was late yesterday." I sighed, placing my head in my hand

"Robin, don't feel bad. You stood up to Jo today and that was great because no one ever puts her in check. Just remember you have people to help you if you need anything at all." Carlos said, placing a hand on the one I had resting on the table

"Thanks, Carlos." I smiled, staring at him

_What is it about this boy that makes him want to help me and get me to talk to him? Does he really think I'll let him in that easily? I wonder what Annalei has for me today. I really miss her and Mike, but at least I can visit them more often. Maybe we can all go out to eat…or I can make us all something…_ I was brought out of my thoughts by the bell ringing. I couldn't wait to read my poem. We all mingled in class until it was time. Guitar Dude went first and his poem was about his guitar. Mercedes had a poem about money, which didn't really have any sentimental value at all, so… It continued like that, and I have to say my peers wrote really great poems and some were really funny. I was the last person, so I took a deep breath and made my way to the front of the classroom with my typed poem.

"I wrote a poem called Nature Keeps Me Calm. Here it goes:

Rain,

Seeping into my skin

It washes away all the pain again.

Thunder,

It soothes me

Like lyrics to music, it speaks to me

Lightning,

Breaking the sky with a sharp, bright light

I always remain calm while others are filled with fright

My favorite time of day is late at night

The starry night,

Twinkling so beautiful

The stars are wonderful and Luna shines bright

They watch over me in the night

The woods,

I could stay here forever

Trees around me so I can hide

At any time, in any weather

It allows me to think peacefully until my thoughts subside

The lake,

I lie on my stomach at water's edge,

Circling my finger as thoughts swarm in my head

How much more can I take?

My quick relaxer

Because it's still and humble when I'm about to break

The daytime sky,

Cloudless or not it make me feel alright

I lie on my back staring up

It's a beautiful sight

I can easily lose myself

And I know I can keep my head up

I just lie and think

Before getting so lost in the clouds that I sink…

Nature,

It has its own sound

Animals flying, crawling, making their rounds

And doing their own thing

I only get the chance to listen when there's no one around

To me, it's not so boring

Just being in it calms me down

My expression changes from a frown

It always makes me better when I feel down

Some don't really understand

I don't need someone to hold my hand

Sometimes I just need a sky, trees, a lake…

Maybe a field or the beach

Dig my toes deep into the sand

Watch and listen to the sounds

Music holds my heart as nature helps me stand…" I finished as the bell rang

"That was beautiful, Robin." Miss Collins complimented as I handed her my paper

"Uh, thanks. I enjoyed writing it. I'll see you tomorrow, Miss Collins." I smiled

I grabbed my basket and bag before walking out of the classroom only to be stopped by Jett pushing me into a wall. _Seriously? What is wrong with him?_

"So, are you ready to go _have fun _with me and Jett Jr.?"

"How about no? I really don't wanna be with you or your son!" I said, pushing him

"You were so hot today when you told Jo off, I thought I'd reward you." He smirked

"The only reward I want is for you to stay the hell away from me before I hurt you!" I seethed

"I have a reward that would be much sweeter," He growled, pushing his hips onto mine and something poked at my stomach, "And you're so much sexier when you cuss with that pretty little mouth of yours." He smiled sickly, placing his hands on my hips

"And you're so much more disgusting when you keep messing with me. If your hands go any lower, I will rip your fucking head off, stab you with my dagger eighteen times, and feed your body to the birds by the dumpster!" I gritted, squirming

"Oh, Doll Face, just think of all the fun we'll have in my apartment alone. We could get to know each other a lot better!" he grinned, his hands now on my butt

_Oh, I'll have fun alright when I kick your Lilly white ass!_ I hit him over the head with my basket, making him release his grip and stumble away. I kicked him and punched him as he started swinging on me. I drop-kicked him and kicked his chest before I heard Carlos and Kendall calling my name and they saw me standing over Jett. For some reason I got scared and ran to get Mary…

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**How was that? I know I'm a violent person, but I couldn't help it. I wrote the poem in this chapter. I hope you liked it. Thank you to those reading and following my story. I'll try to make it better. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Review! XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


	8. Plans, Visitors, & Restlessness

**Hello my lovelies! Thank you for reviewing my story. I really enjoy writing this story. It's unlike anything I've written for my friends. Keep reviewing because it's my drug next to music. This starts in Carlos' POV, so yeah. Enjoy.**

**I don't own Big Time Rush…**

**Excuse me while I go drown my sorrows in music.**

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_**Carlos' POV **_

Kendall and I decided to find out what happened at the party. Since Dak and Wayne-Wayne slipped away too soon, we decided to corner Jett in the lobby. It had been two minutes and I was getting impatient.

"Where the hell is he?" I asked Kendall

"I don't know. He can't be with Jo because she never came back to class after Robin put her in her place." he grinned

"Well, where else can he be?"

"Wait, Jo said Robin was all over them, right?"

"Yeah…she said Robin was whoring around."

"But Robin said she was cornered and they tried to get her to 'have fun' with them…" Kendall said with that look in his eye

Without another word, he bolted off in the direction of our class and I followed. We called her name a few times and got there just in time to see Robin seething, her right foot was on top of his chest and she looked up at us, her eyes flashing neon orange before she ran off. At least she made it easier for us to question Jett. He was currently groaning and writhing on the floor. _**Damn, she's good!**_

"I'd say Robin did a fine job…" Kendall smiled before yanking Jett up by his collar

"You've read my mind, my friend." I smiled, "Now, let's see what this jerk knows."

We pulled him over into an empty hallway and pushed him against the wall.

"So, what were you doing after school, Jett?" I asked

"I was…waiting for a friend."

"I don't believe you…unless of course Robin is your friend. As we can all see, that's highly unlikely so what were you doing there with Robin?" Kendall asked, punching his stomach

"I was asking for help…on my homework." He smiled

"You're lying through your teeth!" I yelled

"Chill, Carlos…now Jett, if you were asking for help. Then why was Robin pissed off, breathing hard, with her foot on you like she won a battle?" Kendall questioned

"I don't know. She's an aggressive bitch that-"

I didn't let him finish, chin-checking him.

"No one. Fucking. Talks about Robin. Like that. You scrawny ass worthless piece of wannabe famous shit." I seethed

"Okay, fine…but just so you know, she is a very fine piece of ass!" Jett smirked

I lunged at him, but Kendall stopped me, giving me a look that said he'd handle it.

"Jett, what were you doing at the party just before you came back with your crew? And don't fucking lie to me, Stetson. I have dirt on you that would get you kicked out of the employment business so bad that you'll be scrubbing toilets and living in your mom's basement." He threatened

"I had been watching Robin all night, then Wayne-Wayne and Dak came by and they watched her as well. She was so sexy and cute standing all alone, staring into the water, talking to you losers for a while. She got a phone call and that's when we decided to have her for the night. She was new, seemed alone, and has a body that would turn any girl lesbo or a gay guy straight, so I made up in my mind that I'd tap that as soon as I could. We cornered her when she left with the kid and touched her a bit, but not as much as I just did. She's something else. Did you know that her ass is firm but soft and totally grab-able? There's an endless list of what you could do to that-"

Kendall kneed him harshly where the sun don't shine, punched his stomach, and threw him onto the ground, kicking his side. I decided to get some punches in and soon he had a bloody black eye, maybe a cracked rib or two, and he'd be lucky if he could reproduce. I couldn't stand that he talked about Robin like that. She was too amazing to be talked about in such a perverted, slanderous way. Kendall and I went to the apartment and no one suspected a thing. We decided to grab a piece of fruit and sit on the couch.

"Kendall, do you think he told the truth about everything?"

"No, I don't. He's a sick bastard, but at least we got his side of the story. Now we just need to hear from Wayne-Wayne, Dak, and Robin…"

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**Robin's POV**

I can't believe they caught me. I ran and quickly signed Mary out of daycare when my phone rang. It was Kelly, so I answered.

"Hi, Kelley. Is anything wrong?" I asked, frantically looking around to see if Jett alerted anyone to what happened

"No, everything's good. Gustavo wants you to come in to do some covers on Friday at 4pm."

"Okay, that's fine."

"Great! A limo will be over on Friday to pick you up at 3:30."

"Thanks, Kelly."

"You're welcome."

I hung up with Kelly only for my phone to ring again. I smiled, seeing it was Annalei.

"Hi, Anna Bear."

"Turn around. Then you'll get your gift."

I turned around and there she stood with Mike right next to her and they had suitcases. I grinned and they ran over to me, hugging the life out of Mary and me. I was so happy to see them I cried.

"Wow, Mike, you made her cry."

"No, it's just…I'm so happy to see you guys. I haven't seen you in a year! Let's get you both situated in my apartment and see what we're going to do."

They smiled and I led them to the apartment. I moved Mary's things into my room and helped them settle into Mary's old room. We all settled in the living room after I got us drinks.

"So how are you? Did you put in a good word for me with James?" Annalei winked

"No, I haven't. Can't you keep your mind off boys for three seconds?" I giggled

"I'll try, but we know that's impossible."

"We have a surprise for you, Kare Bear." Mike smiled

"What is it?" I asked, excited, "Wasn't you two coming over surprise enough?"

"Nah, we figured we'd do something special just for you." He smiled, heading to their room

He returned with two guitar cases and a ukulele case, my face forming an ear-splitting grin.

"So, before we left to come here, we had your mom send us a few of your things." He smiled

"I love you guys. I haven't played guitar in two months!" I exclaimed

"Well aren't you a lucky ducky to have us as cousins?" Annalei smirked

"Mommy, will you play me a song?" Mary finally spoke up

"Sure, Love. What do you want to hear?"

"The song you used to play a lot last year."

"Ah, The Fray…"

I smiled and tuned my acoustic cutoff dreadnought guitar before strumming the tune as I sang "Look After You" and Mary smiled a smile that made my heart melt. When I finished, Annalei was jaw-dropped and was either filming or taking pictures before looking down and messing with her phone. I shrugged it off and put my guitar down, Mary crawling into my lap.

"So what's the game plan?" Mike asked

"Well, I'm almost finished with the poem I have due on Friday, I have psychotherapy on Thursday, and Friday I have to meet with Kelly and Gustavo in the studio to do some covers, but I have a feeling I'll be doing some dancing as well."

"So my little cousin is making it big in Holly wood. I never would have thought…"

"Mike, I haven't made it big just yet, but mum has faith in me." I smiled

"Hey, I heard that you got the highest grade on your first test in school and you gave some guy baked apologies for making him feel bad." Annalei added

"Yeah, it's true. Apparently, Logan is like the genius of the school and I ruined it, but he's all better."

"Please tell me you have some left!"

"Now, you know me! I always have something leftover."

I went to the kitchen and got some cookies and brownies, setting them on a plate. I poured 3 small cups of milk and one cup of water, setting it all on a tray. I went back to the living room and set it on coffee table.

"So how'd you get here?" I asked curiously after we all grabbed a dessert

"We caught a plane, and then got a taxi here. Your mum told me your information, so we finally arrived. School must have just gotten out because there were kids with backpacks everywhere. We asked around and got some interesting stories about you…" Annalei started

"What interesting stories?" I asked nervously, taking a sip of my water

"Well, you're a badass at school, you told off a whore, you make the best sweets in the world, you have a very poetic mind, and you're the new chick with a kid." Mike smiled

"Yes, it's true, but I'm tired of people walking all over me and I don't want Mary to get hurt. I exploded in class because I just couldn't let go of the fact that she could have hurt Mary when she slapped me. Mary was clinging to me like a scared koala after the incident, so we were both late for school. I just…don't wanna go back to being that girl from New Jersey that you can walk all over." I sighed

"Mommy, I'm sorry we were late for school." Mary frowned

"Baby Bear, don't frown, okay? It's not your fault. You were just scared. You know I'd do anything for you. As long as you're okay, that's all that matters to me." I smiled

"Okay! Can I go play now?" she asked

"Mary, go get your homework first, then I'll help you. You'll have time to play before dinner."

Mary finished her cookie and milk before running off to the room and I smiled, watching her.

"I don't think your mom has ever been like that with either of you two." Mike smiled

"Well, I'm not my mum. I really want Mary to have the best that life can offer. I want her to be happy. As long as I live, I promise to do whatever I can for her. She's like this little ball of energy and sunshine." I smiled

"It's a good thing you're not your mom. Did your mom even start you a college fund?" Annalei asked

"No, but I started one with Mrs. Warren's help a few years ago. I even got one for Mary because I want her to succeed…well; I got her a Gerber life and college plan with Mrs. Warren's help. Either way, Mary is fully covered and I'm making sure she gets what she needs."

"I sometimes wonder how you're related to your mother. I mean, you're complete opposites and you're caring for a child she gave birth to!"

"Mike, it's fine. Some people are just not like their birth parents. Besides, mum says I basically took care of myself by the age of two. Besides, I've always liked kids. I just connect with them more."

Suddenly Mary came back with her folder and pencil pouch, holding them out to me. I grabbed the clipboard and placed her adding and subtracting homework on it. She climbed into my lap and we started doing the worksheet. She quickly got a hold of it and only had to ask for my help once more. I found out that Annalei had posted a video of me singing the acoustic version of "Look After You" to my YouTube page and let Mary play before I started dinner. I started wondering how tomorrow at school would go since I took out Jo and Jett all in one day. We all talked and decided that we'd go to the mall on Saturday to just hang out and relax. I started to think that with Annalei and Mike here, life would be better. After going to sleep for two hours, I was restless, knowing that tomorrow was the anniversary of my grandpa's death. I just couldn't sleep, so I took my guitar and ukulele to the balcony along with a stool. I softly started playing random tunes before doing acoustics to real songs like "Cat and Mouse" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, "Dig" by Incubus, "After The World" by Disciple, "Cheater Cheater Best Friend Eater" by Never Shout Never, "Everywhere" be Michelle Branch, "Drive By" by Train, and "Butterfly" by Mariah Carey. After my jam session, I felt better because growing up, whenever my grandpa visited; he always wanted to hear me play. Those were his favorite songs for me to play for him, too. I always called him Papa. He was blind and he'll never get to attend my graduation. He only knew Mary as a toddler at latest. _Why was he taken away? It's not fair._

"I miss you so much Papa…if only you were alive to see-well, hear me now. You would be so happy. Snickers and M&M are visiting for a while. Mary would be so happy to see you and I could tell you all about what happened so far. I'm in LA at the Palm Woods because of an incident back in New Jersey. I changed my look and character a bit. I managed to make new friends as well…and I wish you could be here with me. I mean, so much has changed since you passed away three years ago. I don't know if I told you, but I got your name tattooed on my left shoulder two years ago. Well, I have school and psychotherapy tomorrow. I guess I'll talk to you soon. I love you so much Papa…" I said, talking to the sky and imagining he was a star looking down on me

I put my instruments away and slid back into bed, holding Mary close as I drifted off into peaceful sleep…

* * *

_**Carlos' POV**_

The day went by fast and Kendall and I planned to get Dak and Wayne-Wayne at lunch. I worked on my poem for school, but I was having trouble and everyone I asked was of no help. I kept going back to Robin's poem from earlier. It was beautiful, flawless, and all her own. I couldn't get over how her voice easily transitioned from line to line, how her voice was calm like a river and smoother than creamy peanut butter. I could see the calmness in her eyes and for some reason she reminded me of a deer or a gazelle drinking from a pond. Her poem melted me into a puddle of melted chocolate and I felt anxious for Friday. After going to bed, I was restless and water wouldn't help me. I slipped out of bed, careful not to wake James or anyone else and walked out to the pool where I heard the sound of a guitar being strummed. I looked up and saw Robin on her balcony playing a guitar and she switched to an ukulele every now and then, her voice sounding so sweet as she sang into the air. Then she stopped playing and I got scared that she might have caught me, but she didn't. She was looking to the sky…talking? _**Who is she talking to?**_ I sat there just listening to the sound of her voice. It was soft and I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she sounded a bit sad. I now had more inspiration for my poem. I slipped back into bed and slept soundly…

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**To those who are following and reading my story, thank you so much. It brings me joy to know that my story is doing well. I'm sorry if this is a sucky chapter. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? REVIEW! XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


	9. Psychotherapy

**Hello my lovelies. Thank you so much for supporting my story. You make me happier and more encouraged to write. I love you guys!**

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_Me: Kendall, you really have to be careful next time. He could have really messed up your eye._

_Kendall: Kare Bear, I'm fine._

_Me: If you say so. Anyway, he-_

_Carlos: Angel, can you tell me what happened at the party?_

_Me: Now Carlos, you know I can't do that. It's up to Robin to tell you her side. You still have to get Dak and Wayne-Wayne as well._

_Carlos: Why can't you just tell me?_

_Me: I'm the author, but I can't just reveal secrets to you. If you wanna know what happened, you need to talk to Robin._

_Logan: Hey Kit Kat, what's going on?_

_Me: Putting antibacterial stuff on Kendall's eye and shoulder._

_Logan: Cool. Uh, do you ever think Robin's a bit smart for being in high school?_

_Me: What can I say? Robin is a smart girl._

_Logan: But isn't it hard with her raising her little sister?_

_Me: Of course it's hard. She just knows how to make it work._

_James: Hey, what's going on?_

_Me: I'm trying to write this chapter, but I had to make sure Kendall was okay, then Logan and Carlos were asking me questions and, yeah…I have work to do._

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I woke up this morning feeling good, but a little saddened. My grandpa was the greatest man in the world. I decided to honor him by putting a copy of a picture of us on my binder, wearing his Rolex watch he bought with his own money, and wearing his favorite color and my usual locket that held his picture. Now he can be with me all day. I showered, got Mary ready, and dressed in a purple and gray striped shirt, regular faded jeans, and left my hair down. I left a note for Mike and Annalei so they wouldn't freak out. School wasn't very different from before, except now I knew Jo, Jett, Dak, and Wayne-Wayne are afraid of me. They glared and winked when they thought I wasn't looking, but when I did look, they'd look down. For homework, we had to do the first section of chapter in our math books and take book notes and vocab from the first chapter of Anatomy books. At lunch, I noticed Carlos asking me about the party, but I didn't want to tell him. What happened, happened. It was all in the past and reminded me of someone that I didn't want to be anymore. They noticed my binder, so I ended up telling them about my grandpa when Kendall and Carlos returned almost halfway through lunch.

"I'm so sorry Robin. I didn't realize…" Kendall sympathized, placing his hand over mine

"Guys, I'm totally fine with it. He was and always will be a great man, role model, and father figure. I just miss him sometimes…mainly around his birthday and I'll miss him more when I graduate. Nevertheless, I'm okay. He's always with me in heart, spirit, and the locket he gave me."

"You kept some of his ashes?" Logan asked

"No, weirdo. We buried him, but I have a picture of him in my locket he gave me."

"Do you mind if we see it?" Camille asked

I smiled and pulled my hair to the side, taking off my most valued possession. I handed it to Lucy, who was sitting next to me. Just then, Jo muttered, "freak" as she walked by. I looked at her, raising an eyebrow and she ran away. I finally got my locket back and put it on again.

"Do you ever visit his grave?" James asked

"Not anymore. I've only visited once because it's in Arizona. After that, I had to find another way to cope because I broke down crying. Then again, it was like in November on his birthday a few years ago when I visited."

"When did he die?" Carlos wondered

"Three years ago…" I said, looking down at my locket

"I'm so sorry." He apologized

"Hey, don't feel bad or sorry for me. He wouldn't want that. He'd want his Sunflower Child to be happy and playing music."

"'Sunflower Child?'" Kendall questioned

"That was his nickname for me. He said it was because I was his ray of sunshine, always smelled like flowers, and he thought of me as his little girl more than he thought of any of his other kids as his children. We just…had a special bond that no one really understood. My grandma was jealous because the first thing I did was make a beeline straight for my grandpa whenever I visited. She always favorited me, but I hated it. Eventually I stopped seeing them when Mary was born. My grandpa, though blind, visited me at least twice a year and every visit, I grabbed my acoustic and ukulele and played for him. I guess that partially explains my passion for music over dance. He couldn't see me, but he could hear me." I blushed, smiling

"He sounds like an amazing man. How did he become blind?" Lucy asked

"He was a diabetic with glaucoma and was on Dialysis. He went three days a week so when he visited, he usually stayed for a week."

"So, do you maybe wanna hang out after school?" Carlos asked

"I have plans after school."

"Going to get another piercing or tattoo?" Logan grinned

"Sorry to get your hopes up, but no. That might not happen for a few days. I have to see someone after school." I admitted

"Is it Jett or his gang? If it is, I'll kick his ass if he tries touching you." Kendall started

"Thanks for being brave, but I can handle Jett, and it's not him, Jo, or his gang."

"Ooh, does someone have a boyfriend?" James teased

"I'm not looking for one, but I do have some cousins visiting for a while. Annalei and Mike are here for…I don't know how long, but it's nice to have them around. By the time I make it back to my apartment, all my sweets will be gone." I sighed

"So what exactly do you-"

"Kendall Knight…I am not telling you what I put in my sweets! There is absolutely no way you're going to get my recipe." I smiled, poking my tongue out

"Real mature, Robin." He laughed

"I know, right? I can be mature, I can be childish…I can be pretty much anything."

"Are you in the acting business?" Camille asked

"No, but mum thinks I should be."

"How is she?" Lucy asked

"From what I can tell, she's doing good."

"Are you free on Friday?" Carlos asked

"No, I'm not. Sorry."

"Carlos, are you forgetting we're busy on Friday?" James asked

"Oh yeah. It's been a while, so I forgot." He apologized

"What a glorious week off." Logan sighed

Just then, the bell rang and we all headed to class. We watched a Geology video in class, and then got a half hour to do homework. Finally, school was over, so I went to my locker and grabbed the books I needed before getting Mary. I got in my car and drove to my appointment. I had Mary bring her homework so she could work on it. I waited and five minutes later, she came to the door and led me to her office.

"So how are you doing kiddo?" she smiled

"I guess I'm doing okay."

"Has anything good happened so far?"

"I've made friends, my cousins are visiting for a while, and I like school so far."

"Have you heard from your mother?"

"I did. She's with Johnathan…again."

"How does that make you feel?"

"I feel worried about her. I know he gets abusive, but last time I was the victim. I'm afraid that he might hurt her or something because I'm not there to be his punching bag."

"I see…so what are your friends like?"

"Let's see…James is very perverted, Lucy is a cool punk rock chick, and Logan is a smart guy that hates when his ego is damaged. I easily fixed that with sweets that Kendall wants recipes for."

"And who is Kendall?" she asked, intrigued

"He's a nice guy that can be violent if friends are hurt. Carlos seems a bit too concerned with what happens to me and Camille is a sweet and sometimes crazy method actress."

"So what's happened since you've moved?"

"I got cornered at a party, but defended myself and ran. I changed my hair a bit, changed my character, got slapped, stood up for myself, made friends, beat up another guy for inappropriate touching, and officially earned status as the school's bad girl."

"Do you like it?"

"I do, but I don't. It's good because no one should be messing with me or my sister any time soon. It's bad because Kendall and Carlos walked in on me beating up Jett."

"So what happened with that?"

"I had just finished talking to Miss Collins about my poem, so I grabbed my basket and bag before walking out of the classroom. Jett pinned me into a wall. He said, 'So, are you ready to go _have fun _with me and Jett Jr.?' I told him I didn't wanna have fun with him and his son and he smirked saying, 'You were so hot today when you told Jo off, I thought I'd reward you.' I seethed, saying I wanted him to get away from me before I hurt him. He growled, 'I have a reward that would be much sweeter,' He began pushing his hips onto mine and something poked at my stomach. He said, 'And you're so much sexier when you cuss with that pretty little mouth of yours.' He smiled sickly, placing his hands on my hips. I told him, 'And you're so much more disgusting when you keep messing with me. If your hands go any lower, I will rip your fucking head off, stab you with my dagger eighteen times, and feed your body to the birds by the dumpster!' but I was squirming. He said, 'Oh, Doll Face, just think of all the fun we'll have in my apartment alone. We could get to know each other a lot better!' before moving his hands to my butt. I hit him over the head with my basket, making him release his grip and stumble away. I kicked him and punched him as he started swinging on me. I dropkicked him and kicked his chest before I heard Carlos and Kendall calling my name and they saw me standing over Jett. For some reason I got scared and ran to get Mary."

"I'm just glad that you're getting better at defending yourself, although you didn't have to use your dagger as a threat. Any luck on getting your first kiss or a boyfriend yet?"

"No, but I'm not worried. Kisses and relationships aren't everything. I mean, Mary is my responsibility-my priority and I don't wanna be like my mom. After she had me, she was always looking for a relationship, then she got pregnant with Mary and I raised her. I know I used to get worried with Mary calling me 'mommy' but I understand. I really need to focus on Mary because she's in school and I wanna help her. You know, she drew a picture the other day and I put it on the fridge. It's the first piece of art in our apartment and I thought about taking up art again." I smiled

"Spoken like a true mother. I wonder…if you had enough credits, why didn't you just graduate early?"

"I promised Dylan when we were younger that we'd graduate together. Honestly, I had the credits, but needed one more class."

"Have you spoken to him lately?"

"No, I haven't. We had a fall out after what happened because I changed."

"Well, you seem to be doing better. Have you written anything new?"

"Yeah, I wrote a poem for school and another randomly." I said, handing her my black composition book

"I really can't get over your title. How did you come up with 'Heart of a Fallen Angel' again? Most people just write their name or 'My Thoughts & Feelings' and call it a day."

"I started it after Mary was born, around the time when all this 'Sperm Donor Drama' and 'Punching Bag' situation got worse. On my worst days, Dylan called me his 'Fallen Angel' and that's how I felt. I was a fallen angel. Everything was fine until I got curious about the world…figuratively speaking. This book has poems about how I felt during certain situations and whatnot. I mean when I was younger, everything was fine, but then I grew up. Annalei always argues that I grew up too fast, but I have my childish moments."

"That's interesting…" she said, looking through my book

She smiled every now and then as she read and finally looked up at me.

"Have you ever thought about turning any of these into songs? I could really see 'So Long and Goodnight' as a song. It's one of your stronger poems."

"Well, not really…I don't see them as songs. I could work on it now that I have my acoustic, electric, and ukulele. Mike and Annalei brought them for me."

"How long has it been since you've danced or played piano?"

"Um, half a year for dance and three months for piano." I sighed

"I see…Maybe taking up some of your old hobbies would be good."

"I know, maybe with my cousins here, I can work on that."

"So, tell me something that you're going to do that is just for you."

"Uh, I'm getting a new tattoo and going to the mall." I smiled

"Good. Who are you going with?"

"My cousins and Mary. Annalei promised me we could get tattoos."

"What are you getting?"

"Mary's name…maybe a patched heart on my arm."

"Do you have any other plans for the weekend?"

"Other than doing covers and dancing, I'll be hanging out around the Palm Woods or the mall. I'm starting my music and possibly dance career. I'm kind of excited for it. Music and dance are my top passions. Art is my third."

We sat there, talked for a while, and just talked, looking through my poetry book. Finally I left and drove me and Mary home. When I got there, Annalei was on the phone and Mike was watching tv.

"Hey Snickers and M&M, we're back!"

"How was psychotherapy?"

"It was good. What'd you two bums do all day?"

"Nothing really. We unpacked all the way, hung out by the pool, made a few friends at the park, and Snickers is now ordering pizza." Mike answered

"Nice, so now I don't have to cook. I hope she orders a salad with that."

"Knowing you, she ordered that first." He laughed

"Alright, well I'm going to get Mary and me ready for bed and we'll chill 'til the pizza arrives."

"Later, Kit Kat."

Soon the pizza arrived and we ate and listened to music until Mary went to sleep in my lap. That night I slept soundly, excited for tomorrow…

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**I'm so sorry. This was more of a filler chapter. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? REVIEW! XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


	10. Takin' Care of Business

**Hello, I apologize for not updating in like forever. I was involved in an accident and it took a while to recover. Also, school started recently and teachers LOVE to assign homework. Because I feel horrible for taking such a long time to update, you lucky duckies get three chapters this week. I hope they turn out well. I wanna thank Vampire-Angel27 for all the help and encouragement. To those still following and reading my story, thank you so much for your patience and supporting me. ;)**

**I don't own Big Time Rush…**

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_**Carlos' POV**_

Today was the day Kendall and I would find out what we needed from Dak and Wayne-Wayne and hopefully Robin. Class was pretty boring today, but it was only Thursday. My mind was focused on three people: Robin, Wayne-Wayne, and Dak. The bell for lunch couldn't ring soon enough. Kendall and I exchanged looks before watching our two targets slowly packing their stuff and sharing looks. I noticed they'd look over at Robin every now and then. It wasn't until Robin was out of sight that relief washed over their faces and they walked by some vending machines. Instead of getting snacks, they veered right and before they could get into the janitor's closet, Kendall pinned Wayne-Wayne and I pinned Dak to a wall in the empty hallway.

"So where do you boys think you're going?" Kendall asked cheekily

"None of your business, popstar!"

That earned Wayne-Wayne a punch in the stomach, which caused Dak to squirm.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way." I threatened them

"Wh-what do you want to know?" Dak asked nervously, looking over at Wayne-Wayne with a scared look

"Where the hell were you on Saturday night between 8:40 and 9:15pm?" I asked

His eyes went wide as he and Wayne-Wayne shared a look. Wayne-Wayne shook his head before looking at Kendall, who had an evil look on his face. I didn't know what was going on in his head, but something told me this 'chat' would be interesting.

"Tell me what you were doing before I go ape-shit on your ass!" I threatened, clocking Dak in his jaw

"Fuck!" he cried, holding his jaw

I noticed Wayne-Wayne's fists clenching and his chest started heaving.

"Look boys…we don't have time to waste. Our friends are waiting for us and I'm sure you have _other_ things you wanna do." Kendall grinned knowingly at both of them

_**Oh, now I get it. It all makes sense now. All we have to do is get them to tell us what we want so we can still make it to lunch.**_

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Knight! Why don't you go mind your own God damn business?" Wayne-Wayne yelled, his face red

"You know God's last name isn't 'Damn' right?" I challenged him

"Shut up, Garcia! No one asked for your fucking opinion." He retorted

"Oh, but your boyfriend over there might!" Kendall smirked

Dak had now been eerily quiet, his cheeks red and he was biting into his bottom lip as we both watched Kendall and Wayne-Wayne.

"What do you know, Hollywood?"

"Oh, I know a lot. I know for a fact that you and your boyfriend Dak would love to be inside that janitor's closet so you can fuck his brains out. Now, why don't you answer my questions so you can get to it?" Kendall smirked

Wayne-Wayne's mouth fell open, speechless and Dak was blushing like mad. _**How did Kendall know they were in a relationship? I guess it was quite obvious. They were practically joined at the hip. After trying to get Kendall kicked out of the band, Wayne-Wayne still dressed like a bad boy, but his character softened up the more he spent time with Dak. They were always laughing or had an arm slung around the other's shoulders…**_

"What's the matter, Wayne-Wayne? Cat got your tongue?" Kendall smirked, Wayne-Wayne shifting and blushing under his gaze

"I-i-i…"

"You what? Tell me what the hell happened Saturday night!" Kendall seethed

"What if I don't?"

"If you don't, I will beat Dak to a pulp. Now tell me what happened before I lose it!" I demanded, moving a hand to grip Dak's throat

"Don't you dare touch him!" he yelled, trying to break from Kendall's hold

"I won't choke him as long as you tell us what we want." I retorted

"Okay, we'll talk!" Dak gasped

"Tell us exactly what happened from the moment you first got to the party to when you re-entered with Jett." I demanded

Dak swallowed thickly before looking at me.

"First, Wayne-Wayne and I went to look for Jett, seeing him in a cabana. His gaze was fixed on something…well someone. When we finally got his attention, he gave us this creepy smile. He told us we were all gonna have a bit of fun tonight. We didn't know what he meant until he pointed at Robin. I'll admit that she looked gorgeous in the moonlight, staring into the pool with a deeply concentrated look, but she's not my type," Dak blushed, "Anyway, he told us to wait until he signaled us before he could tell us his plan. Honestly we didn't care what he'd planned because we had plans of our own."

"We went to find an empty cabana…," Wayne-Wayne picked up, "And when we did, I immediately claimed Dak's lips. Things were getting good when Jett had to fucking text me. We made ourselves presentable and found him watching Robin, who was talking on her phone. He quickly explained that we were going to cut her off in the lobby, close in on her, and get her up to his apartment where he said the 'real fun' could begin an-"

"I'll fucking kill that bastard!" I interrupted

"He said she was perfect. I mean, she _is_ shorter than Jo, shy, seemed insecure, and is definitely more beautiful than Jo. I mean it's true: Jo was no match to Robin. The girl has curves, piercings, and interesting eyes. She's not like the other girls here at Palm Woods and I'll admit that I was attracted to her. Just looking at her got me thinking about my own fantasies. Even though I didn't want to follow through with his plan, we did. No one says 'no' to Jett Stetson because it's not an option. He'll ruin your life if you don't give him what he wants. He has dirt on me that could get me thrown in prison and I just can't do that…not to Dak." Wayne-Wayne finished

"Stop getting side-tracked and finish telling us what happened!" I seethed

"Well, Jett told us to go hide out in the lobby, threatening that if we screwed this up for him, he'd literally have our asses. We quickly waited in the lobby for him. It was only two minutes before we were cornering her. I immediately felt bad because she was holding a little girl in her arms. I wasn't aware that she had a kid, but forced the feeling away when Jett nudged my ribs harshly. We followed through with exactly what Jett told us. She looked toward the elevator before Wayne-Wayne stepped closer and placed his hand on her hip. She shrank back from his touch and Jett put his hand on her side, dangerously close to her left boob. She fought, taking all of us down and Jett told us to get her. We scrambled to our feet and she was nowhere in sight. We took the elevator, since that's what she was eyeing…"

"We searched everywhere, but couldn't find her. Eventually, we ran into Jett who was holding his balls and walking like he'd been riding horses too long. His face was flush and he looked angry, but there was lust lacing his gaze. We didn't know what to do, but he told us he'd get her eventually and his voice was very high-pitched. It was hilarious, but we stifled our laughter. He said we'd go back to the party like nothing happened and he'd handle her later. Who knew Robin was such a badass? She really knows how to defend herself!"

"Hm, your story is believable. Is that all that happened?" Kendall asked, wanting to be sure

"Yes, I promise you that's all." Dak confirmed

"Alright, you can go. Try not to be so loud, though. Wouldn't want you giving yourselves away, now would we?" I smirked

"Right." Wayne-Wayne breathed

"But if we find out that you lied or you did something else to her, I will smash your faces in and ruin you so horribly you'll wish you were in prison! Got it?" Kendall threatened

They both went pale, shaking their heads enthusiastically.

"Good boys. Now don't be late for class." Kendall smirked, patting Wayne-Wayne's cheek mockingly

We released them and grabbed snacks before making it to our table of friends.

"Hey guys. Where have you been? We've been waiting like forever!" Robin said dramatically

"Well…" I started

"What, did you guys get lost?" she teased

"Haha, very funny. We've been going here longer than you so we can't get lost." Kendall replied

"Oh, you'd be surprised at how lost people get lost in places they've been in for ten years."

"We had business to attend to." He said, seriously

"Oh Kendall…why so serious?"

"Wow, I never knew you were a fan of Batman!" I exclaimed, happy we had one more thing in common

"You'd be surprised what you don't know about me." Robin replied with a sly smile

"You're such a flirt." James scoffed

"I am not a flirt, Diamond. I'm telling you straight up. There _are_ things you don't know about me that you'll find quite surprising."

"Like what you put in your desserts? I'm really trying to get an answer –the real answer. Seriously, what do you put in there?" he pressed on

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she smiled, poking her tongue out at him

"There you go again! you should get a top that says 'F-L-I-R-T' in bold letters on the front." James said

"NEVER!" she replied, poking her tongue out again

"Real mature, Robin." Kendall smiled, nudging her shoulder with his

We all laughed and I took notice of her binder. I got curious and asked about it. She ended up telling us about her grandpa that had been deceased for three years. I felt bad and wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and erase all the pain from losing such a noble man. Though she smiled, the pain was evident in her red orange eyes. I mean, he was her father figure and truly cared about her. She is such a grandpa's girl. Her eyes were brightly lit as she talked about him like an excited child. Now I can see why he called her his Sunflower Child. She has an adorable personality and I liked this side of her. She was so innocently happy it reminded me of my own childhood days. Finally, it was time for us to go back to class. I couldn't help the chuckle that left my mouth when Dak came limping into class and Wayne-Wayne followed him with a satisfied smirk. Everyone in our group except Robin started snickering. Robin is so innocent it's ridiculously unbelievable. Class flew by and when it was over, Robin bolted out of the room. I guess she had something very important to do today. I shrugged it off and I followed the guys to the apartment. I was puzzled, happy, sad, and curious. _**Every time I tried to ask Robin about Saturday night, she shrugs it off and avoids answering. I didn't know why she was like that, I saw a side of her today that I haven't really seen before and I liked it. Seeing her in such a happy mood warmed my heart. Every time she smiles, I feel butterflies and it's like she lights up the world. I just wish I could see her like that all the time. I'm starting to get the hint that she and Kendall like each other. I mean they're always flirting, but she doesn't realize she's doing it. I know it's all harmless flirting, but he knows I like her. it's not like they're serious about it, but I can't help but feel jealous. I feel like she's hiding something and it's something in her eyes that tells me she has a secret. There's just something she doesn't want us to know. Whatever it is, it can't be bad. It's not like she's an ax murderer, or she's hiding from someone, or maybe someone broke her heart and used her up so she wants to start new. I just don't know. The more she avoids questions, the more intrigued I become…**_

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**Alright, well there's that chapter. I'm really sorry for not updating in like forever. I pray you can forgive me. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I hope to be updating once a week again, but with school now in session I never know. I'm on a pretty tight schedule. Feel free to PM me any time. Comments? Questions? Suggestions? REVIEW! XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


	11. Music & Auditions

**Hola muchachas/muchachos, here's the next chapter! This one is kind of a random filler, but enjoy!**

**I sadly don't own Big Time Rush…**

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_Carlos: Do you know what Robin is hiding? _

_Me: You know I don't write and tell, Carlitos._

_Carlos: Ugh! What's it gonna take for you to tell me? You wouldn't even tell me how many tattoos she has!_

_Me: Her tattoos don't matter. She's just another girl trying to make it in Hollywood while taking care of her sister. Why can't you accept it?_

_Kendall: *randomly pops up* Hey, Kare Bear…_

_Me: I'm not telling you what Robin puts in her cooking!_

_Kendall: Aww, why not? *gives me Puppy Eyes*_

_Me: Because I'm the queen of Puppy Dog Eyes, that's why! _

_Kendall: How do you manage that?_

_Me: Simple! Kendall, can you go get me some chocolate pudding please? *shoots him Puppy Eyes*_

_Kendall: Yeah, sure! *walks away*_

_Carlos: How did you do that?_

_Me: I have a talent. I'm short, look younger than my actual age, and I have the mind of a toddler._

_Carlos: Then how can you write so well and give advice?_

_Me: I'm very smart for my age, but I'll always be a little kid forever on the inside. *grin at him*_

_Carlos: Curse your adorable personality…_

_Me: Alright, I have a story to write. If you see Kendall, tell him I'd like some gummy bears as well._

_Carlos: *mumbling* vindictive, smart-ass, cunning, intelligent, manipulative-_

_Me: What's that, Carlitos?_

_Carlos: I love you!_

_Me: Uh huh, that's what I thought. STORY TIME!_

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Robin's POV

I woke up a few minutes before my alarm to the smell of fresh coffee. I quickly showered and got Mary dressed in a light blue shirt and skort set. Then I dressed myself in a purple tank top and dark gray sweats with my right pant leg rolled up. I slid into a pair of purple Toms and pulled my hair into a loose bun before we went into the kitchen where Mike was in the kitchen messing with things on the counter. I leaned against the counter, watching him fiddle with the toaster until Mary tugged on my pant leg. I smiled and picked her up, setting her on a barstool.

"Mommy, I'm hungry. Can I have pancakes and milk?" she asked

"It looks like Mike is cooking this morning. I can make a big breakfast tomorrow, okay? Does that sound good?"

She nodded enthusiastically and I poked her stomach, making her laugh. It was then that I heard Mike clear his throat. I turned and walked over to him, carrying Mary.

"Are you having trouble, M&M?"

"Nah, I figured out the toaster." He grinned

"So Chef Michael…what's for breakfast?" I smirked

"Smart-ass!"

"Michael Ray Brown, watch your mouth in my apartment! I don't need my baby learning that kind of language. Wash your mouth out with soap!" I scolded him

"You're so cute when your 'mom' instincts kick in," he rolled his eyes, poking my nose, "And it's not a bad word because it's in the Bible. I made toast, fruit, coffee, and orange juice for breakfast."

"Thanks, now go Potty Mouth."

"You're kidding!"

"Yeah I am. Just learn to watch your mouth." I smiled

I grabbed the toast and spread jam on it, sliced a pear and a nectarine, poured a glass of orange juice, and a mug of coffee before sitting down. After Mary and I ate we grabbed our school stuff. Once I filled my thermos with coffee, I was finally ready to go.

"Anne is asleep, but I left her a note so I can walk you to school." Mike said

"Dude, it's all in the same building. We'll be fine."

"I just wanna see where it is. Besides, once Annalei is up, she'll have me trapped inside this apartment all day just drooling and fawning over James Diamond, the ladies man. Please give me some freedom!" he begged

"Alright fine…but you're only dropping me off."

"Nice Eminem look by the way." He smirked as we walked out the door

"Oh be quiet you! I have to go to the studio after school and I'll only have enough time to get Mary a snack and go down to the lobby." I explained

"Either way, it looks good on you." He smiled, looking me up and down

"Come on, before we're late!" I laughed, grabbing Mary's hand

After a few minutes, we reached Mary's class.

"Is her class really that small? I mean, there was like 5-10 kids in there at most!" he said as we headed to our next destination

"M&M, her class is small because Palm Woods is the home of the future famous. Mostly teens reside here."

"I guess it makes sense when you really think about it."

"Of course it does. Nowadays, there aren't many child stars."

"I've noticed…"

"Well this is my stop." I said as we reached the open door. "I'll see you when I get home, so don't make a mess or anything."

"I got it, _mom_! There's one thing you forgot though…"

"What is it? I have my backpack, books, binders, homework, thermos…" I trailed off

"Happy Friday!" he grinned, lightly slapping my butt

"You evil booger!" I glared, playfully slapping his cheek

"You love me…" he smiled, pecking my cheek

"You know you're not my favorite person right now. I'll see you when I take Mary home. Now go away before you make me late."

He winked before turning on his heel and leaving. I rolled my eyes before walking into class and taking my seat. Mike is a piece of work, but he's my cousin, so I love him. He's like the fun, but playful protective older brother I never had. I was a little excited and nervous for today. It is the day I get to read a poem that reveals a little about me and I may be starting a career if my post-audition goes well. The truth is that I can dance well, but I don't like putting it out there. I'm more of a professional back up dancer than the girl that dances with friends. I never went to dances in junior high or high school, but I took dance classes and competed at dance competitions when I was younger. I'm just happy I can start fresh in a place where no one except my cousins and sister know who I really am. Mum was right…mum and my counselor were both right. A fresh start is just what I need and LA seems to be the perfect place for me to start over. Sure, there was a rocky start, but I know I'll get through this. I have my own place, good friends, a few enemies, and now closer family. It's nice that I'll always have Mary to remind me of who I really am. The lessons for today were very simple and lunch came quicker than I thought. Once we were all seated, Camille was the first to speak up. _I should have known she'd notice Mike first and have the courage to ask…_

"So…who was that hunk of man candy you were flirting with before class?" she asked

At that second, I burst into laughter and they all gave me weird looks.

"Uh, are you okay?" Logan asked

"Yeah, perfect…" I said once I'd calmed down

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lucy asked

"Lucy, I'm all good. It's just…I wasn't flirting."

"You might tell yourself that, but you two were definitely flirting." James cut in

"Is he your boyfriend?" Carlos asked bitterly

"Y'all are funny. I mean, do I look like someone who normally has a boyfriend?"

"Well you-" James started

"Don't answer that! He's not my boyfriend. He's actually my cousin Mike."

"Well you two seem close." He frowned

"Carlos, I'm serious. He's honestly just a very close cousin that plays the roles of protective older brother and playful, flirtatious, crazy best friend. We have a relationship that most don't understand and I apologize if it bothers you."

"I'm sorry. I just felt…confused because he kissed your cheek and walked you to class." Carlos blushed

"Don't be embarrassed." I smiled, placing a hand over his

Carlos looked up and smiled at me as if I just told him the best news in the world.

"Is he really your cousin?" Kendall asked

"Absotively posilutely!" I grinned

"You're something else, Robin." He laughed, rolling his eyes

"Do you think you could put in a good word for me?" Camille asked; hope shining in her eyes

"I'll see what I can do. Oh! James, my über hot cousin Annalei totally digs you. You should hang out with her sometime. I promise that she's nice and funny when you get to know her. You two pervs would have fun together." I smiled

"By 'über hot' what do you mean?" he asked

"Imagine me times one thousand…and that's my cousin Annalei." I grinned

"I don't even think that's possible."

"Oh, you'll see when you ask her out." I smirked

"How do you know I'll ask her out?"

"I'm readin' your mind. You know I'm a psychic. Why you tryna hide it? Hide it?"* I sang

"Then me and Annalei will do more than have fun together!" he smirked

"Oh, that's gross dude!" Carlos punched his shoulder

"Seriously? I was eating!" Logan glared

I had no idea what they were talking about and continued with eating my banana.

"See? Robin's got the right idea." James smiled at me

"What are you talking about? It's lunch time, I'm hungry, and I'm eating. Got a problem? Think about something else."

"Oh believe me, I am! You're so commanding when you're hungry…" he grinned, eyes almost black

_Are his eyes like a mood ring too? I thought my eyes were the only ones that changed color._

"You know what, James?" I asked

"What?"

"That grin on your face practically screams 'winner!'"

"So what's my prize?" he asked, leaning across the table towards me

I smiled evilly as I remembered a video I recently watched on YouTube. I pretended to think before I responded.

"You get…a banana in your face!" I said, smushing the rest of my banana on his cheek

"You're a strange girl, Robin and I kinda like it!" he smirked, wiping his face clean

"Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it all and then some you don't want."**

"Your voice is really amazing." Logan complimented

"Have you ever thought of becoming a singer? Your voice is quite unique." Carlos smiled

"Yeah…maybe I'll get signed today."

"By who?" Kendall asked

"I'll be sure to tell you when or if I get signed."

"Why can't you tell me now?" Carlos whined

"Because…if I don't get signed, I'll cry, locking myself in my apartment and become a hermit."

"You could use my shoulder to cry on and the gang will help make sure you don't become a hermit."

"Oh Carlos, you're always looking out for me, buddy." I smiled

"We'll always be looking out for you. Whomever you audition for would have to be a fat low-life loser not to sign you. It's obvious you have talent." Lucy smiled, draping an arm across my shoulder

"Thanks, Lulu…" I smiled

"If it doesn't work out, you can always open a bakery and hire us as staff." Kendall suggested

"Haha, very funny Knight. You're still not getting my recipes. I'm not opening a bakery."

"Damn! Well, it was worth a try." He sighed

"You never give up, do you?"

"Nope!"

"You are one persistent boy…" I laughed

"Hey, you have to work for what you want, right?"

"Why is relentlessly asking me considered 'work'?"

"Because you're a tough cookie!" he smirked

"A bit on the cheesy side, don't you think, Knight?"

"Don't act like you don't like it, King."

"Ha! You called me king! My name totally dominates yours, so you're never getting my secrets." I smiled smugly

"Hey, that's no fair!"

"Life's not fair…"

"You've cut me deep, Robin."

"Kendall, it's the truth, not a cut."

"You're never going to lose, are you?"

"I'm winning this battle, but i might lose the war."

"You're a sore winner."

"What can I say? I enjoy being on top."

"Okay, how can you say things like that and still claim your innocence?" James challenged

"Things like what?"

"' I enjoy being on top.'"

"There's nothing wrong with liking to be on top of your game, James."

"You're like a blonde when it comes to sexual content."

"I just don't say things and mean it in a perverted way…and when someone says something, I don't think of it in a perverted way."

"It's like you were born yesterday!"

_Okay, I'm getting sick and tired of this mess. There's nothing wrong with me taking things for pure meanings and if he has a problem with it, we won't be friends for long._

"Okay, you've gotta stop that. Not everything I say has to be turned into something perverted for your personal entertainment. Just so you know, I've known quite a few blondes that are very smart and got academic scholarships to places like Harvard, Yale, and Berkley! I'm not perverted or dirty-minded because I was never exposed to it, didn't care to look for it, and was lucky enough not to stumble across it. I've spent the past seven-and-a-half years raising a kind, caring, polite, beautiful little girl that means more than the world – much more than life – to me. I think you're a really nice guy, but if you don't stop turning what I sat or do into something that seems adulterated, we won't be friends for much longer." I said, my eyes fading from piercing blue to violet

They were all staring at me in shock and I blushed, looking down at my half-eaten calzone as I bit my snakebites. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked over at Carlos, who was giving me an apologetic look. I smiled at him and Logan spoke up.

"Don't feel bad Robin. It's about time someone set him straight." He smiled

"You didn't do anything wrong. You just scared him because no one's ever made it clear they want him to stop."

I smiled at them and we all carried on eating and talking until we had to go to class. Miss Collins gave us time to perfect and review our poems before she called on people to recite their poems. It was just like last time and I went last. I felt like everyone was watching me as I took a deep breath and made my way to the front. Miss Collins nodded and I began…

"You call me a freak,

Try to single me out

I try to stay strong

So I won't get knocked down

Don't get me wrong

My darker persona isn't a front

Who cares if I dress like I'm on the hunt?

Mess with close friends or family

And that's when you get the darkest part of me

I know I have flaws, but don't we all?

Don't look at my appearance and judge me

It's not all about looking intimidating, chill, or like a hippie

Yes, I've dyed the tips of my hair and two strips of hair pink

I even have a few piercings and inks

But none of that affects my personality

Take some time and get to know me

You'll find I'm very smart, random, and sweet

Think about these things before you mess with me…"

They all stood and clapped for me, causing me to bite my lip. I handed the teacher my paper and she let us talk for the remaining five minutes.

"I'm enchanted by your words…" Carlos smiled

"Oh, stop it."

"Carlos is right, Robin. How do you write like that?" Lucy added

"How is it that you write fresh material with such raw passion?" Kendall asked

"Stop fawning over me, guys. It's not that special."

"I'd say it sounded pretty special, Robin." Camille smiled

"I write from the heart. I mean, your heart tells what you truly feel and desire." I shrugged

"Yeah, but how do you find the mood to write in?" Carlos asked

"I write best when I'm calm or relaxed…or right after something happens. When it's all quiet except for maybe background noise, I can easily write. The key is to write when you're doing something that relaxes you or clears your mind."

"So when did you write this one?" James asked

"While listening to my iPod. Music is my escape."

"Escape from what?" Carlos asked

"Escape from everyday stress…my own thoughts…feelings caused by incidents…just from everything. Music helps me stay sane in this chaotic world."

"Were your parents poets or authors?" Lucy asked

"Not even close…"

"So what were they?" Carlos asked

The bell rang and I was eternally grateful.

"Saved by the bell! I've gotta run, but I'll see you guys later." I smiled, sprinting out the door

I quickly got Mary and went to the apartment.

"Mommy, don't leave me."

"I'm only going to work for a few hours. You can stay here with Mike and Annalei." I said as I started slicing up a peach

"But I wanna stay with you. Can I see where you work?" she pleaded

"Mary, you already saw it when I first auditioned…but you can come with me just this once. After this you have to stay with Mike and Annalei, okay?"

"Yay!" she cheered, hugging my leg

"Now go get a book to read or something. We need to be in the lobby in two minutes."

She bolted off and I laughed before she came out with a small SpongeBob backpack. I grabbed my own sports backpack and put the peach slices in a zip-lock baggie before rushing downstairs. The limo pulled up and we got in. I texted Mike that I was taking Mary with me and soon we were at Rocque Records. Once inside, Kelly told me I'd sing two songs, dance, and sing four more songs. I smiled, went into the booth, and sang "See No More" by Joe Jonas and "Heartbeat" by Stereo Skyline. Gustavo looked satisfied, so I was sent to the dance studio where I met Mr. X.

"You have the legs of a dancer." He commented

"I took a few dance lessons when I was younger and still practice those moves every now and then." I admitted

"Are you flexible?"

"I can still do flips and touch my head with my toes."

"Show me." He said, stepping back

I braced myself and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I did a cartwheel, three front flips, one back flip using my hands and two without my hands, a high kick, another back flip, then landed on my stomach, touching my toes to my head.

"Excellent!" he said, making and 'X' with his arms

"So what's next?" I smiled, standing up

"Well, you seem eager! There will be a group of dancers coming in. you will stretch, learn choreography, drink water, choreograph one dance, and free-style." He explained

"Wait, I'm choreographing a dance?"

"Yes, you are. You'll do just fine, I promise."

I nodded and a group of three girls and two guys came into the room. We all stretched on our own before Mr. X taught us two dances. We got into lines of three and danced to "In Love For A Day" by Jordan Pruitt and "My First Kiss" by 3OH!3 featuring Ke$ha. I choreographed the dance for "Cannibal" by Ke$ha and everyone seemed impressed with my skills. The other dancers hugged and high-fived me before they left. I quickly hydrated and waited for the music to start. I free-styled to "Want U Back" by Cher Lloyd and "Cuckoo" by Adam Lambert. I was breathless but satisfied when I finished. Mr. X clapped and I walked over to him, grabbing my stuff.

"You've blown my mind, Robin. You are by far the most limber, advanced, professional-like person I've worked with so far. You have a very special talent and I hope you don't let it go to waste. Take a break and cool down. You have 10 minutes before Gustavo wants you in the singing booth. Good luck!"

I smiled and set my stuff down before doing some cool-down stretches, toweling off, and drinking water. I went to the booth and immediately started with "Loud Music" by Michelle Branch, followed by "Unfriend You" Greyson Chance. Gustavo and Kelly stopped to talk to each other before I sang "I Love You" by Avril Lavigne. I finished with "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry and I noticed a tall man white hair talking to Gustavo and Kelly. Finally, he spoke into the mic, introducing himself as Griffin.

"Robin, you have a very charming daughter." Griffin smiled

"Thank you."

"Your dance skills are advanced and your voice is quite unique. I like it! You're officially signed."

"THANK YOU SO MUCH!" I yelled

I did a mini version of my happy dance and Gustavo let me out of the booth. I immediately looked for Mary, who was currently on couch with Kelly and…

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*** Love Me Love Me ~ Big Time Rush**

**** Home ~ Daughtry**

**Thanks for reading. I hope you liked this chapter. Who do you think is there? Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Review! XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


	12. Questions

**Hello my Loves. This is the next chapter. Thanks for the support and love. This is more of a filler chapter, so I hope you enjoy.**

**I don't own Big Time Rush…**

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_Robin's POV_

Mary was on the couch talking to Kelly and the guys were all sitting there gaping at me.

"I knew you were talented, but DAMN!" Carlos finally spoke up

"Carlos! Watch how you talk around my baby!" I cried, glancing at Mary, who seemed too caught up in talking to Kelly

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't find any real words. I'm speechless." He smiled

"I never knew you were so…flexible!" James smirked, hazel eyes darker than I remember

"Where'd you learn how to sing like that?" Logan asked

"Where'd you learn how to _dance_ like that? I mean, you're just full of surprises!" Kendall smiled brightly

"I sang all the time – especially to my grandpa…and before my mom had Mary, I went to dance classes and competitions like in _Dance Moms_, except Mrs. Vera, a friend of my mum took me." I revealed

"So this is where you had to be?" Carlos asked

"Yeah, but what are you all doing here?" I asked, curious about why they were here

"Gustavo wanted us to practice our songs and meet what could be our competition." Carlos responded

"I don't see how we can compete with you. I mean, you've got it all!" Logan exclaimed

"You've got the look, the moves, the body…" James trailed off

"She has the fire…" Gustavo finally spoke

"Wait, I thought I had the fire!" Kendall argued

"You do, but she's got that intense, passionate fire." Gustavo answered

"Robin, welcome to the team!" Kelly beamed

"Mommy, is this your new job?" Mary asked, tugging on my sweats

I squatted down to eye-level with her.

"Yeah, it's my new job." I smiled

"Are you gonna be here every day?"

"If that's what Gustavo needs, then yes." I sighed

"Are you gonna leave me with Aunt Annalei and Uncle Mike or forget about me?" she frowned

"I'll try not to leave you with them for too long. I'd never forget about you, Mary. You're my special little girl no matter what. I love you and you mean the world to me. Don't you ever forget that for even a millisecond!"

"Are you still gonna read to me?"

"I'll always tuck you in bed. I'll read to you even if you're asleep, silly goose!" I grinned, poking her stomach

"I love you always, mommy…," she whispered, hugging me

At that moment, I wanted to cry, but held it in as I hugged her tight. She yawned sleepily and I stood up, holding her in my arms.

"Well, it's time I get this one to bed. I'll see you guys around, okay?"

"Robin, I'm glad you're on our team. Be sure to get some rest." Kelly smiled

"Thanks so much. Call me if you need me to come in." I waved, walking off

I started walking away and decided to call mum once I got in the limo.

"Hi, mum…how are you doing?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm doing great. How are things with Johnathan?"

"Great…" she answered and I could hear the smile in her voice

"Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah…things are going better than the last time. What's going on with you? How was your day?"

"My day was great. I can say that my singing and dancing career has officially started. Mary seems to be taking this transition well. We had a rough start, but things are coming together, I guess."

"I'm so happy for you! When is your first day on the job?"

"I'm not sure. Kelly should be calling me if they need me in the studio. Mike and Annalei are here now."

"That's amazing, honey. Any luck on kissing boys lately?"

"No such luck, but I'm not worried. You know relationships and things like that are the farthest things from my mind."

"I know," she sighed, "But I blame myself for doing this to you. You missed out on crushing on people, kissing boys, parties, dances, and other things most people do at the age of 11…all because I made a stupid decision and was blinded by what I thought was love."

"Mum, it's not your fault. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. Sure, I've never had my first kiss, date, boyfriend, or anything like that, but…" I paused, looking down at Mary asleep in my arms, "I got to raise an amazing ray of sunshine. With the hours you work, you wouldn't have been able to take care of her yourself. Everyone thinks I'm her mom, but she calls me her mom anyway, so it doesn't matter. I'm just glad I've put New Jersey behind me and I'm starting to move on."

"It sounds like you're doing well. I'll let you go. Don't forget to have a little fun for yourself."

"I won't. Goodbye mum." I hung up as we reached the hotel

Once I got into the apartment with Mary, Annalei screamed.

"Robin!" she yelled, hugging me

"Snickers, Mary is asleep right now. Calm down." I whispered

"I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't seen you all day. I was asleep when you left, in the shower when you got home, and now I'm wide awake."

"Well, I'm glad to finally be home again. I'll put Mary in bed and then we can talk some more."

I set Mary on the bed and started putting her bedclothes on her when she woke up.

"Mommy, can I have a grilled cheese sandwich? I'm hungry." She yawned

"Yeah, come on. Go in the living room. I'll be out once I've showered and dressed for bed."

She ran out and I stepped under the warm shower water, being sure to wash my hair. Once I'd finished and dried off, I changed into boxers and a black beater. I made grilled cheese sandwiches, fruit salad, and poured everyone drinks. We all settled at the table and started eating.

"Did James say anything?" Annalei asked

"Snickers, he said that you'd do more than have fun if you went on a date."

"Ooh, I like the way he thinks." She grinned impishly

"Hello? I'm eating here! I didn't need that image in my head." Mike groaned

"Don't act like you're any less of a perv than I am, Mike." Annalei shot back

"Okay, but—"

"Don't give me any excuses. I've seen your room walls, seen your internet page history, and heard you on many nights through the walls of my own room." She smiled

"You two are something else!" I smiled

"So did he say anything else?"

"Nope, I'm afraid not. Mike, how do you feel about brunettes?"

"I love brunettes, why?" he asked, a twinkle in his eyes

"I know a girl that's interested. She's a nice, sweet, friendly method actress."

"She sounds interesting…what's her name?"

"Camille Roberts…"

"Is she average height with wavy brown hair and a beauty mark on her lip?"

"How do you know her?"

"We ran into her when asking about you. She's the one that told us the stories." Annalei answered

"I guess I'm not invisible in LA."

"Apparently not. Almost everyone talks about you. You're like **the** hot topic."

"When you're the new girl, everyone talks about you."

"I can tell…"

"Mommy, what are we doing tomorrow?" Mary asked, finishing her milk and sleepily rubbing her left eye

"Do you guys mind cleaning up? I'm gonna tuck her in bed."

"No problem. You might as well go to bed because tomorrow's going to be awesome!" Annalei smiled

"Thanks. Goodnight Snickers…M&M."

I took Mary and brushed my teeth before getting us settled in bed.

"Are Aunt Anne and Uncle Mike living with us forever?" Mary asked suddenly

"No, sweetie. They'll only be here with us for a while. To answer your other question, we're going to eat a nice breakfast, hang out at the mall all day, maybe eat out, and come home to sleep."

"Okay…" she mumbled

I thought she'd fallen asleep, but I was wrong.

"Do you like Carlos?" she asked quietly after a few moments of silence

"What do you mean?"

"Do you like him enough that you would let him hold your hand, buy you things, and call you pretty…like him being your boyfriend?"

"And just what do you know about boyfriends, Miss Mary?" I teased, propping up on my elbow as I lay on my side

"Annalei told me…" she muttered, shyly pulling the covers over her face

"What did she tell you?"

"She said that you and Carlos like each other as more than best friends…like a boyfriend and girlfriend do."

"Mary, when she tells you things like that, ignore it. She shouldn't be putting ideas like that into the mind of a second-grader."

"…So do you like him enough to let him kiss you?"

"Mary, go to bed." I chuckled, kissing her forehead and lying on my back

"Mommy, you never answered my question." She whined

I turned to face her and sighed.

"Mary, I don't like him like that. At most he's a really caring friend who will be there for me."

"Do you want to like him more?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"I don't know." She shrugged

"I'm happy liking him as a friend. You know I don't like my friends as closer than a best friend or a brother. If I were to cross that line, things could get weird in a bad way. Now go to sleep, little girl." I laughed

With that, Mary closed her eyes, a slight frown on her face._ I don't know why she'd be asking me all those questions. It makes me wonder what exactly Annalei said to Mary while I was in the shower and changing for bed. Leaving her with my cousins was probably not the best idea in the world. If Annalei is putting things into her mind, it's only a matter of time before Mary is corrupted and she's only 7 years old! I'll have to speak with Annalei alone soon. Tomorrow will definitely be amazing. I get a new piercing and tattoo, get Mary out of the house, avoid Carlos' questions, and spend quality time with my cousins. Tomorrow will be absolutely perfect…_

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**Hola guys, that's the third chapter in a row. Am I forgiven? I hope you enjoy the story. Pretty please review because I NEED feedback. I'm not sure if the story is really good or not or what you guys want to see in the story. I can't update until I know what you guys think, so review soon. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? REVIEW! XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


	13. Nightmares, Mall Time & Denial

**Hellos there! ;) I'm sorry for being a horrible updater. With marching band, clubs, school, community service, and family, I haven't found a balance quite yet. I hope this chapter is good enough for you guys. I want to thank XxQuietSingerXx and Vampire-Angel27 for reviewing my story. It makes me happy to know my writing is keeping my readers interested. Thank you so much. Stay tuned for more updates and don't forget to review. ;)**

_Me: *listening to music by Honor Society while writing chapter*_

_Carlos: Hey, Angel!_

_Me: *tear my headphones off, doing a ninja pose*_

_Carlos: Woah, hold on Ninja Girl!_

_Me: Carlos, you scared me silly! You should know better than to sneak up on me like that. I could've hurt you ya know!_

_Carlos: Sorry…so what does Robin think about me?_

_Me: I don't know. Why don't you ask her?_

_Carlos: She won't tell me anything._

_Me: Then stop asking her what happened on her first night at the Palm Woods!_

_Carlos: I can't help it. I wanna know her side of the story._

_Me: Give it some time, Carlitos. She may come around eventually._

_Carlos: So what do you think she likes about me…or doesn't like?_

_Me: Carlos, I don't see anything about you that can't be likeable. You're an amazing person, so don't forget that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have-_

_James: *barges in* Kit Kat, why is Robin playing mind games and flirting with all of us?_

_Me: James Isaac Diamond, IF YOU DON'T STOP INTERRUPTING ME, I WILL POUR ALL YOUR CUDA PRODUCTS DOWN THE DRAIN, SHATTER EVERY MIRROR YOU OWN, AND DESTROY ALL YOUR LUCKY COMBS!_

_James: Not my babies!_

_Me: Thank you, now I have to finish this chapter like now…_

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_ROBIN'S POV_

Today was going to be awesome and I could feel it. I woke up very early, showered, put on a t-shirt and sweats, and made sure Mary was still asleep. I smiled upon seeing she was clutching my teddy bear tightly to herself. I had time, so I figured a jog would be nice. The sun was starting to rise, it was slightly cool, and it just seemed like a good day. Pulling on a sweatshirt, I grabbed my keys and locked the door quietly as I left. Unfortunately, Jett was in the lobby when I got there.

"Where ya goin' Sweet Cheeks?" he grinned evilly

"Somewhere away from you." I rolled my eyes

"Running away already? The fun hasn't even started yet. Are you really abandoning your precious daughter?" he sneered, getting in my face

"I don't have answer that. Moreover, you need some tic tacs or something 'cause yo breath stinks!"*

"If you leave I will find you."** He whispered in my ear darkly, placing a hand on my waist

"You've got to be the dumbest pretty boy I know if you're really gonna try this mess again…"

"I may be dumb, but I'm better-lookin' than James and the rest of those losers you hang out with at lunch." He said, pinning me to the wall with my hands above my head

"The only loser I know is you since you insist on reassuring yourself along with everyone else that you look better than James. At least he's got _some_ brains, but you? You can't take a hint. I don't like you and I'll never want you. You're a first-class moron and predator. I mean, what are you, nineteen, twenty maybe?"

"Don't mock me little girl. I can have whatever I want and I want you. Oh, and you're wrong because I'm twenty-one. Thanks to make up, I can look eighteen."

"Don't make me laugh, Stetson. Everyone knows you're with Jo. You only want to use me and then throw me away like a used tissue. Were you held back or something? Oh, and thanks for letting me know that you're a predator."

"And everyone knows you're a slut that's in love with Carlos. I was only held back twice and started school a year late."

"I'm not in love with him. We're just friends."

"Well you could've fooled me, whore! I really thought you Latin girls were easy!" he sneered

_That's it! This is the last straw. I'm only part Latina, thank you very much and we're not easy!_ I kneed him so hard in the crotch; it would be a miracle if he could produce even a quarter of a child for as long as he lived. He went down, releasing my wrists. I crouched down beside him as he held himself, groaning.

"Fucking bitch!" he squeaked, his voice very high-pitched

"I told you to stop messing with me and this just proves how dumb you really are. I'm only partially Hispanic and I take offense when someone insults my culture like that. Now, I'm going to say this one last time," I started, fisting his shirt and pulling him to look in my eyes, "Stop messing with me, my friends, and family or I'll make sure you become some big guy's girlfriend in prison! You're a sick, twisted, pervert and I will never want you in any way, shape, or form. You truly disgust me. Now I don't wanna EVER have this conversation AGAIN!" I threatened, releasing his shirt, letting his head thump on the floor

I stood up and turned to walk away, but went back to him.

"By the way, you might wanna get some ice for your uh…injuries."

With that, I walked off and went for a long run in the park. The place was deserted, making things quite peaceful. I listened to my iPod for the second half of my run. It gave me time to think about things and clear my head. When I returned to the Palm Woods, I got water from a vending machine. I smiled to myself and went up to my apartment, ready to cook. I made a big breakfast of French toast, pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, fruit salad, coffee, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. I set the milk and food on the table as I heard Mike getting up. Once the table was all set up, I went to my room to see Mary tossing, turning, and whimpering in her sleep, a few tears on her face. I woke her up and the second she saw me, she hugged me tight and buried her face in my neck. I soothed her, singing "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift & Civil Wars softly in her ear as I rubbed her back.

"Please don't leave me mommy!" she hiccupped after she calmed down

"Mary, I'm never going to leave you. It was only a bad dream. Do you wanna tell me about it?"

"Not right now…" she sniffled

"Alright, but I need to know by the time we go to bed tonight, okay?"

She nodded and I dried her tears. I took her to the kitchen and ate, where she insisted on sitting on my lap. I laughed and we all enjoyed breakfast together. Mike and Annalei were talking about my food, Camille, and James. Finally, after cleaning up, we all got ready. I put Mary in a jean jumper with a pink and green striped shirt before brushing her hair into a high ponytail. I dressed in a gossip sucks tee, black pants, and a gold necklace. I shouldn't have been surprised to see Annalei dressed in a scoop-neck top, an aqua skirt, and feather earrings. Mike was in a simple graphic tee and dark jeans. We all hopped in my car and got to the mall. There weren't too many people, but it still looked busy. Mary sort of clung to me, having to have some kind of physical contact with me at all times. Whatever she dreamed must have really shaken her. We walked through the mall, checking out all the stores, trying on random things and goofing off. I kept my eye out for the Build-A-Bear Workshop because I promised to get her an animal from there. I smelled it before I could see it and prayed to every god out there that Annalei would skip over this store just this once. Did I get my wish? No, because she just had to torture me.

"Ooh! Robin, you have to come with me to Victoria's Secret." Annalei pleaded

"No way, Snickers! You know Victoria can't keep no secret!" I joked

"Way to quote Tyler Perry." She rolled her eyes

"I HATE this store! You always drag me in here and I wait while you try on the whole store. I'm not doing that again."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaassssssssssssssssssssss sssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" she begged

"Absolutely not!"

"How about I buy you something if you come with me?" she tempted

"Ew, gross! I don't even like anything in that store!" I groaned

"Oh come on; it's not as bad as you think. Maybe we can find something Carlos will like." She winked

"I don't even like him!" I protested

"Sure you do! You just don't know it yet. You can't let what happened in New Jersey hold you back from living your life. Even your mom is worried that you're using excuses to avoid being in a relationship."

"I can't leave Mary." I sighed, ignoring what she said

"She'll be with Mike."

"It's not the same. Besides, that store makes me sick."

"There's no way in hell you're pregnant, so you'll be just fine. You have absolutely no lingerie anywhere in your wardrobe. The only dress you have is the black one you wore to grandpa's funeral. I mean, there's nothing temping or enticing in your closet or drawers. Why aren't you a normal teenager?" she ranted

"Snickers, I'm not a normal teenager. I don't constantly think about boys, flirt, try to impress people…I have a child to take care of and that's all that matters."

"I just want a girl to go with me. Come on, the last time I went was a year ago with Adam. Coming into this store lead to other things…not that I'm complaining." She smiled

Sighing, I squatted down by Mary. I looked at her, noting her eyes tearing up.

"Mary can you go with Mike for a while? You can put the bags in the car, grab a pretzel, and by then I should be done. We can get you a bear after this, okay?"

"Okay Mommy!" she said sadly, hugging me

And off they went. My fake smile vanished as Annalei dragged me into the dreaded store. I slumped in a chair and picked up a sports magazine, putting my earphones in. A lady at the store gave me this unreadable smile and I just put the magazine down, closing my eyes as I leaned back, drowning in the music. About two minutes into the ninth song, someone poked my stomach, making me giggle. My eyes opened and Annalei was frowning at me.

"What?" I groaned, slumping farther in my seat

"I wanted you to tell me what color I looked better in, but you were asleep." She whined

"I'm not interested in watching you model whatever it is you wanna buy. Pick a color you like and let's get out of here." I pleaded

"Fine, then you can pick three colors." She huffed

"Black, purple, and neon green." I said, thinking of the first colors that came to mind

"But the green and black make me look pale!"

"Then pick something else." I grumbled

I was unaware of the fact that all the workers were watching us with amused looks.

"Which animal is more adorable to you?"

"I like turtles…but puppies, bunnies, and kittens are cute, I guess. Why are you asking me?"

"I just want your opinion is all."

"Is there anything _else_ you want to know?" I asked, rolling my eyes annoyed

"Just one more thing. Which perfume would you wear out of _Twilight, Cotton Candy, and Japanese Cherry Blossom?_"

"Hmm…my mum used to wear _Cotton Candy_ all the time and it wasn't bad until she jocked my vanilla body spray. _Cherry Blossom_ smells amazing, but it's strong. I think I'd go with _Twilight._"

"Thanks, Bunny." She smiled, kissing my cheek

It's been a while since she's done that. It's been two years to be exact. She walked away and the lady at the counter grinned at me yet again. I didn't know if she was being nice or got Botox, but she was creeping me out. Nevertheless, I rolled my eyes and tuned back into my music. This time I was brought to reality by a weight on my legs and someone poking my cheek. I opened my eyes to see Mary perched on my lap with a small smile on her face, her mouth covered in sugar crystals.

"Mommy, can we go get my bear now?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" I sighed in relief

Annalei was at the counter with Mike purchasing her items. I picked up Mary and wiped her mouth before she pecked my cheek. We headed to our destination. She got a teddy bear in a rainbow dress that she named "Cuddles." It was a cream-colored bear and she had the biggest smile on her face with the brightest twinkle in her eyes. It boosted my confidence to see her so happy. We continued walking around the mall, getting random items, and goofing off. Finally, we stopped in the food court for lunch. Annalei went on about the last two concerts she'd gone to. Mike was talking about a car he was saving up for. Mary was babbling about a project from school. And me? I was soaking it all in…enjoying the company of my family. I finally felt complete. I felt eyes on me and looked up. For a split second, I thought I saw a familiar face from New Jersey walk by, but brushed it off. _That's impossible. I mean, after the fallout we had, he wouldn't dare follow me here. Maybe mum told – no, that's stupid. I told her to tell him I was with relatives in Canada. I guess it's possible that he somehow found out, but – no, never mind._ I went with Annalei to a tattoo and piercing shop. I got Mary's name beneath my dandelion tattoo on my right shoulder. Her name was in calligraphy writing with sparks around it. Once that was finished, I got a ladybug on my left hip, a few hearts and stars just below my belly button, and my belly button pierced. We drove around the city for a while until we found an okay-looking Chinese restaurant for dinner. Mary wanted some ice cream, so I told her we'd get dinner first, then ice cream. It was a nice day and I thought we could all use a frozen treat. Mary wanted to be a "big girl" and help Mike order the food. I chuckled and let her go as Annalei and I took a seat at a table. I decided now would be the best time to talk to Annalei.

"Um, Snickers…when I was showering last night, what did you tell Mary?"

"Bunny, what are you talking about?"

"I mean last night I was in the shower and she was with you and Mike. When we were both retiring for the night, she said you told her that Carlos and I…_fancied_ each other…" I blushed

"That's because it's true! You and Carlos belong together and I can tell. I mean, you're blushing like mad!"

"Only because I'm embarrassed for having to bring up something like this."

"Excuses, excuses! You're in denial of your true feelings."

"I'm not in denial…I'm just not interested in a relationship."

"You don't necessarily have to have a relationship. I mean, there's nothing wrong with having a crush on a boy." She smiled knowingly

"But it's not a crush!"

"AH, so you're admitting you have feelings, no?

"No! Ugh! Pourquoi cela doit-il être tellement frustrant? Je ne l'aime pas!"

"In English please?" she sighed annoyed

"I said, 'Why does this have to be so frustrating? I don't like him!'" I huffed

Whoa, retract your claws, kitty cat! There's nothing wrong with liking him. I have to say he _is_ one sexy Latino."

"I'm sorry. I don't like him, okay? I just…" I sighed, looking over at Mike and Mary in line, "I have responsibilities and I'm not going to let anyone hurt her. I don't care what happens to me anymore…"

"You need to loosen up and have some fun. You're using Mary as an excuse and she's running your life. It's like you don't even have a life anymore."

"Don't you understand? Mary _is_ my life. And I don't need to relax, Snickers. I _need_ to save money for her college funds, apply to some colleges online, and—"

"Ask Carlos for a massage because I bet he's great with his hands…" she smirked lowly, cutting me off

"I'm not asking him for a massage!" I gritted through my teeth

"Well James will be taken, Logan might give you one in trade for sweets, and Kendall may seduce you into giving him your recipes. Although, you seem like you need to be seduced."

"I'm not getting a massage, Annalei. I don't need one, okay? I'm totally fine!"

"Stop being so damn uptight."

"I. Am. Not. Uptight! I'm just…confused."

"I hear hanging out with Carlos can fix that."

"I'm not having this conversation. I just have to—"

"Go out, party, relax, get some firsts out of the way…"

"NO! I need to let things fall into place. Boys will NOT solve my problems. I don't like Carlos any more than a close friend and you need to stop being so boy crazy."

"Not until you're finally corrupted."

"That's never gonna happen."

"Then the same goes for me. You're a very headstrong girl, Robin."

"That's just a part of who I am."

I smiled to myself and finally, we got our food. Next stop, the ice cream shop. I got a simple vanilla cone, Mary got chocolate, Mike got Rocky Road, and Annalei got mint chocolate chip. We got in the car and I sped home, lucky my ice cream hadn't started melting. We all grabbed bags and walked into the lobby, me finally starting to eat my ice cream until Annalei nudged me in the ribs, causing ice cream to get on my nose. I certainly couldn't lick it off, so I got stuck with a white-tipped nose.

"Ow! What was that for?" I glared at her

"Stop eating your ice cream like that!"

"Like what?" I asked, taking a lick of my now dripping ice cream

"Like that!"

"Why?" I asked, taking a few more slow licks

"Because everyone is staring!" she hissed

I looked around and realized I basically got the entire hotel's attention. Everyone looked like they were waiting with bated breath. Logan, Carlos, James, Lucy, and Kendall were all by the elevators, simply staring at me. Carlos' face was unreadable, James was smirking with dark eyes, Lucy's face was blank, Logan's mouth formed an "o" shape, and Kendall was biting lip. I felt something cold and wet dribbling down my hand and realized it was my ice cream. I quickly lapped at the cream as I made my way to the stairs, my family in tow. I'd finished my cone by the time we put all the bags where they belonged. As I sat on the couch, Mary crawled into my lap.

"Okay, we're never taking you for ice cream again." Mike mumbled, heading to his room

"What? Why?"

"You, my sweet, innocent child, eat ice cream far too suggestively for the public eye." Annalei said

"Well that's dumb!" I pouted

"I know it is, but we just can't handle you and ice cream. Everyone looked like they were about to orgasm just from watching you."

"About to what?"

"Never mind… you wouldn't understand anyway. I swear to God you're the most innocent person your age. It's sometimes frustrating!" she groaned

When Mike returned, we ate and went to our rooms. Mary got her bear, Cuddles, and scooted closer, facing me once we were ready for sleep.

"What's wrong Honey?"

"My bad dream that I had…"

"What about it?"

"We were walking…a scary man grabbed you and pushed you…" she started, tearing up

"You don't have to finish unless you want to." I said, feeling my chest tighten

"You started fighting with him and your face was dripping red before more scary people helped him. Y-you…"

She was crying by now and I held her to my chest, letting her cry. My white beater was soaked with tears and snot, but I didn't care.

"Mary, it's okay. Nothing will happen to me, okay? It's all going to be fine." I soothed, my own tears falling

"You fought and fought and then I ran… You were gone, Mommy." She sobbed

I rubbed circles into her back and kissed her hair. I sang and soothed her back to sleep. I was deeply hurt by this. I was upset seeing my own flesh and blood crying. It made me wonder how much of the incident in Jersey she saw. I had a feeling something big was about to happen. I just couldn't tell if it was good or bad…

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*** From Shrek**

**** line from "Please Don't Go" by Mike Posner**

**Well my lovelies, that was another chapter. I hope you're enjoying the story. I don't know how to keep y'all entertained, but I hope you liked it. What do you think so far? Hoping to update soon. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? REVIEW! XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


	14. Sweets, Dancing & Advice

**Hello, my fellow readers I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. I'm really trying hard to update when I can, but being a Senior in high school, teachers expect a lot from you – especially in AP. I hope this story is keeping y'all interested. I don't know when the next update will be, but it should be soon. I've been writing between studying for the ACT/SAT.**

**I don't own any part of Big Time Rush… *destroys Gustavo's office more than Kendall***

**Now that that's over, on with the story…**

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_**Carlos' POV**_

In the past few weeks, Robin and I have grown a bit closer. She's been talking to me a bit more, but still won't budge when I ask her about the whole 'Jett and his henchmen' thing. Almost every day, she comes over to the apartment with Mary. Usually she helps us with homework and hangs out with us until Mama Knight tells us it's time for dinner. Sometimes she helps Mama Knight cook dinner and we can tell their cooking apart. We love Kendall's mom's cooking, but Robin's always tastes better. Not to be sexist or anything, but I think Robin was born to be in the kitchen. Every time we insist Robin, Mary, and sometimes Annalei stay for dinner, Robin politely refuses. The more time we spend together, the more I beg Robin to stay. She always has something to do and when she doesn't, she claims she's tired. Mary is the cutest thing ever! She's really attached to Robin and it's so easy to tell. She always calls her 'mommy' and it makes me wonder what happened to their mom. Mary also LOVES to have Robin's undivided attention and climbs into her lap when she's sleepy. I've been getting a different vibe from Robin, like she likes me. I mean, things are going really great between us and I enjoy our closeness. I'm not sure she feels the same about me, so maybe that vibe is just her warming up to me? I don't know. She hasn't admitted to liking me yet, but I haven't asked her, let alone told her that I have a crush on her. it's hard for me not to like her. she's beautiful, a genius, caring, and can cook. I count it as a bonus that she can speak several languages, is an amazing singer and dancer, is innocent, and never fails to do something cute or adorable. Her smile lights up the world and warms my heart, her vanilla scent gets me high, and her voice is like a symphony. The passion and emotion she puts into everything is amazing and eloquent. Earlier this month, Miss Collins just announced that we're going to have a Sadie Hawkins dance next month. I was desperately hoping Robin would ask me. Today at lunch I felt I was going to explode if she didn't ask me, seeing as we were approaching the end of the month. I'm guessing Kendall could tell and I mouthed 'Thank You' as he brought it into conversation.

"So, who are you ladies going to ask to the dance? Time is running out."

"I can't say, but I definitely know who I'm going to ask." Camille smiled

"I'm not entirely sure yet. I'm still looking…thinking about it." Lucy said, quickly glancing at Robin

"Robin?" James asked

"Oh, what?"

"Who are you asking to the dance?" Kendall asked

"M'not going." She mumbled

"Why?" I exclaimed, feeling like my heart would break

"Because I just don't wanna go." She mumbled, biting at her lip ring

_**Okay, someone needs to teach her when and when not to bite her lip.**_

"What girl _doesn't_ want to go to Sadies? I mean, you don't have to wait around for your dream guy to ask you, so you making the first move isn't frowned upon." Camille cut in

"Me."

"Why?" Lucy asked, frowning

"I just…don't wanna go."

"Why? Are you afraid of asking someone?" Logan smirked

"No! I'm just not the girl that goes to parties and dances." She glared at him

"But…why?" I asked, still not understanding what the problem was

"Something always comes up and I don't wanna have to leave Mary."

"You can't avoid dances forever…"

"I know that, Logan…," she sighed, looking at her half-eaten turkey club sandwich, "But the thing is I don't do dresses, skirts, or fluff unless it's for a funeral." She finished in a quiet voice

"I think you'd look amazing in a dress."

"Thanks, Carlitos." She said, giving me a half smile

"You're going to Sadies if I have to drag you there myself." Camille threatened

"Now you sound like my cousin." Robin chuckled

"Which one?"

"Both of them, but more like Annalei."

"Now that you're going, all you need is a date." Lucy smiled

"And I know of a few eligible guys." James grinned

"I'm going by myself and that's final!" she practically growled

_**Damn that sounded sexy!**_ I felt my pants get tighter at the demanding tone she used. Although I was sad to hear her final answer, I offered a weak smile.

"So, speaking of November, I believe someone has a birthday." Logan changed the subject

"Kendall, what are you going to do for your eighteenth seeing as it's just around the corner?" James asked

"Nothing special. How about we all just get together that night? It can be like a co-ed sleepover in the apartment. Mom will be gone and Katie will be over at a friend's house."

"That sounds fun." Robin smiled

"Maybe you can bring Mike." Camille smiled

"And Annalei?" James quickly added

"But what would I do about Mary?"

"The day care center can keep her overnight…or we can convince Katie to distract her." Lucy suggested

"You think so?"

"Katie is smart and responsible. The day care center is run by moms that live here so she should be safe with them." Logan replied

"So are you in?" I asked

"I'll think about it." She smiled

"So…why don't you like wearing dresses again?" James asked

"Dresses and skirts reveal more and I'm more of a…conservative when it comes to appearance."

"That's not a way to attract people." James scoffed

"Speak for yourself." I mumbled

"What was that, Carlos?" Lucy asked, grinning

"Nothing!" I said a bit too quickly

"Listen, I don't care about attracting people. I'm not interested in a relationship right now. Alls I'm sayin is skirts and dresses just ain't me." She managed in a Brooklyn accent

"Why aren't you an actress? You sound just like the character of Adelaide from the play Guys and Dolls!" Camille exclaimed

"Because I'm not an actress. I could if I wanted, but…music and dance make me happy." she smiled

"Changing the subject, how do you win every argument? Do you read minds or something?" Logan asked

"Random fact about me: I was on the debate team at my old school." she smirked

"So that's one secret. Now, about those—"

"You're not getting any of my recipes. I've sworn myself to secrecy."

"Taking it to the grave?" Lucy joked

"If Mary wants to tell y'all in twenty years, then she will."

"Damnit!"

"So what do you like, Kendall?"

"Can it James!" she glared when he started snickering, "What are your interests and likes gift-wise?"

"I like music by Forever The Sickest Kids, Taking Back Sunday, and Incubus. I also like hockey, Vans, your sweets…"

Robin stuck her tongue out, revealing a tongue piercing. _**Oh holy shit. How many piercings does this girl have?**_

"Get off my sweet, yo! I think you're seriously addicted. Either that or you're obsessed." She smirked

"it's not my fault you make orgasmic sweets!" he huffed

"Don't you mean organic?"

"Nope!"

"I swear, you're all weird."

"Nah, you're just a little slow." I assured her

"Well, that part of my brain hasn't been activated yet, ensuring I excel in academics."

"And now you're using big words…" James groaned

"Not necessarily. Hey, did Gustavo need us in the studio today?"

"Yeah, I think he wants us to do our duets followed by hours of dancing."

"I hope the dancing is easy." Logan sighed

"Why go easy when you can go hard?"

"I can't take you seriously." James shook his head

"I like to be challenged." She shrugged

"Yup, all I hear from your mouth is dirty talk."

"Yeah, if you think dancing is dirty."

"I'm the king of dirty dancing." He winked

"Watch how you dance with my cousin or I'll—"

The bell cut her off, but I had a pretty good idea of what she'd say. The rest of the day went slowly and I seriously needed help. I was mulling over in my mind how to change her mind about going to the dance alone. I wanted her to go with me. I kept thinking as I made it to my room in the apartment. _**Does she like teddy bears and chocolate? Maybe licorice and roses? Who the hell am I kidding? She doesn't like me and she never will. Whatever I thought I felt was probably wrong about it. Maybe she **_**does **_**like me, but since I haven't made a move, she thinks I'm not interested. She might be waiting until Mary's not in school to start a relationship. Does she like girls? Nah, she would have had a girlfriend by now. Then again, she already said she's not interested in a relationship. Did she get her heart broken back in New Jersey?**_ I was brought out of my thoughts by James pulling me by my arm.

"Where's Logan and Kendall?"

"They're already in the lobby. What exactly were you doing in your room?"

"I was thinking…"

"About Robin again?"

"Yeah…" I blushed

"Dude, if you don't stop drooling over her, she'll think you're strange."

"I know, but I can't help it. When I think she can't be any more interesting or sexy, she takes it to another level and I'm just…star struck."

"So, what were you thinking?"

"Forget about it."

"Just tell me. It can't be that bad."

"I was thinking of all the reasons she's not interested. Maybe she's a lesbian."

At that, he cracked up and doubled over with laughter.

"Dude, she's too hot to be a lesbian."

"You're right…"

"Besides, if she were, that would suck for all the guys that have been checking her out."

"Especially me." I sighed

"I highly doubt she's anything but straight. I mean, she's a mixed goddess that has everyone wrapped around her pinky. Give her more time to open up to you. She's not exactly fond of being vulnerable or in a relationship."

"I know, but I wonder why she's like that."

"All you have to do is ask. You spend time with her almost every day."

"I know, but we're always doing homework or playing video games."

"May be you should talk more and do less."

"I think this is the first time you've advised me without being a pervert."

"I'm not _always_ a perv, ya know."

"The problem is that when I try to even chip a wall, she adds another layer of bricks and changes the subject."

"Have you evr thought that maybe she doesn't like to be the center of attention? Maybe she has a deep, dark secret that she doesn't want us to know. It's her life, so she can do what she wants."

"I know that, but I need to know how to get her to ask me to the dance. This is probably the closest thing to a date as I'll get."

"Just be yourself and keep talk as close to the present as you can. If she asks you, then she really likes you. If she doesn't, then don't sweat it. She may either be shy or has a better way of telling you."

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I am! Just call me Dr. Love."

"Okay Dr. Love, how come we had to wait for ten minutes for you? You know LA traffic is horrible."

"I was thinking, and then he found me, and gave me some advice on Robin on the way here."

"HE gave you ADVICE on Robin?" Kendall laughed

"I could have easily helped you using—"

"Please don't say love science!"

"—Love science!"

"Logan, we don't have time for this! Gustavo is going to have a bitch fit now that we're late."

"Do you think Robin is already there?" I asked

"She's most likely there because she's a very punctual person." Logan observed

We all got in the limo and traffic was slow. It seemed like forever before we were at the studio. When we got into the room, Robin was already in the singing booth finishing up what sounded like "One More Night" by Maroon 5.

"Robin, go ahead and take a quick break. I'll be with you momentarily." Gustavo spoke into the mic

Robin smiled and gave him a thumbs up before waving to us. Gustavo turned to us, his face unusually calm, but you could see the anger in his eyes.

"Dogs, meet me in my office now."

We quickly went to his office and he shut the door. We got lectured and yelled at for a full five minutes before Kelley saved us.

"Gustavo, Griffin is almost here…so get ready."

We were dismissed and sent to the singing booth. Robin was sitting on the floor with her earphones in her ear, singing an unfamiliar song. She looked up at us and smiled before putting her iPod away and standing up.

"Hey guys! What took you so long?" she smiled

"Why? Did you miss us?" Logan teased

"Of course I missed you guys. You're my buddies. But seriously, what took you so long to get here?"

"Carlos needed—"James started

"It was horrible LA traffic from an accident." Kendall saved me

"Alright, let's get in place before Gustavo starts screaming!" she smirked

From left to right, the order was Kendall, James, Robin, me, and Logan. We sang "We'll Be a Dream" by We The Kings as a warm up and Kelly told Gustavo something. I was guessing Griffin was here.

"Logan, Kendall, and Carlos come out of the booth to observe." Gustavo said

We nodded and stood beside Kelley. Griffin had just walked in and the music started…

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**Well my loves, that was another chapter. I'm sorry if this was a horrible chapter. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? REVIEW! Happy Halloween ;) XOXOXO Vampire-MusicLover09**


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